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Wife expectations from husband

What are common wife expectations from husband in marriage? I have been married for a couple of years. And when I entered into marriage, I had expectations and my husband also had his expectations. 

As part of pre-marital counselling, we had to write down our partner expectations for marriage. 

I have come to learn that the expectations of a wife in marriage differs from the expectations of a husband in marriage. The expectations my husband had on his list were different to mine. And his list was much shorter compared to mine. 

Everyone has expectations in marriage whether Christian or not. Maybe someone who is religious might expect you to respect their religion and beliefs and maybe also expect you to join them. 

Many people’s expectations in marriage are not being met mainly because the spouse is not aware since people don’t verbalize their expectations.

And even if they do communicate their expectations, their partner takes their requests for granted. Or maybe sometimes the partner just has unrealistic expectations in marriage.

And when you realize that your expectations are not being met; you end up doing away with expectations; which should not be the case.

If you are a man, it is important to know what every wife needs from her husband so that you can have a stronger happier marriage.

And if you are a woman reading this you might be asking, what should be your expectations from your husband? The list below will guide you so that you can teach your man how you wish to be treated in marriage.

When expectations are being met, the wife enjoys the amazing benefits of being married, and the man also shares in the great marriage benefits.

What every wife needs from her husband is similar. All women want be shown love by their husbands. And the love is proved through the actions or expectations listed below.

It is also important to have a list of expectations in a relationship because this will inform your marriage expectations list.

Table of Contents

  1. Wife Expectations From Husband
  2. What Does A Wife Expect From Her Husband In Bed?
  3. What Should Be Your Expectations From Your husband?
  4. What To Expect From Your Husband In a Marriage
  5. What Wives Need From Their Husbands?
  6. What Are Normal Expectations In A Marriage?

Wife Expectations From Husband

1. A wife expects her husband to be affectionate

When a woman enters into marriage, she expects her husband to show her affection. You might be providing shelter, food and transport, but she still wants you to show her in other ways that you love her.

Here are examples of affection in a relationship:

1.1.     By telling her you love her often

A woman never gets tired of hearing the words “I love you”. These three words open all doors and make the marriage smooth. You should tell her that you love her as often as possible, and not only during lovemaking.

1.2.     You should compliment her

A woman loves to be complimented. Compliments give her the strength to continue wanting to please you. 

You should praise your wife for taking care of you and the kids, for her nice food, and even for the effort that she puts into her image. You should not let her good deeds go unnoticed. 

1.3.     Spend quality time with her

You should show your wife affection by spending quality time with her. 

Don’t marry her just to leave her alone at home with the kids or to act as a security guard for the house; make her your best friend. No woman wants to sleep alone while her man is in the streets.

Spending quality time also means being physically and emotionally present. If you are at home with her but you are occupied with work, glued to your screen, or playing games, that is not quality time. 

2. A wife expects her husband to prioritize her

Every wife expects to be her husband’s priority. She wants to see through her man’s actions that she is the first and most important lady in his life. 

She doesn’t want to feel like you are spending more time with family or friends or at church than you spend with her. 

Don’t be too quick to spend money on other people while you spend minimally on your wife. Or be that husband who is quick to support other people while he neglects his wife.

3. A wife wants to feel protected

Another wife expectation from husband is to be protected. Being protected means feeling safe physically and emotionally. 

This means blocking off anything or anyone that might compromise make her safety and wellness.

3.1.     She wants a safe home

She wants to be in a home that feels safe meaning that as her husband you must ensure that the home is safe to live in.

If the light bulbs fuse, the husband should replace them. Or if the door is not working as it should, the husband should take care of it. 

3.2.     She wants to be protected from your loved ones

A woman expects you to protect her and stand up for her. At times your own family, which is her in laws, might have unrealistic expectations of her and it is your duty as her husband to protect her.

They might sometimes not like her or say negative things about her, but you should make it clear to them that they will have to respect her.

3.3.     She wants her weaknesses to be concealed

A wife expects her husband to cover her. No person is perfect, meaning that as a wife she will have her weaknesses. Protecting her as your wife means that you will not go around and spread her weaknesses. 

4. A husband should remember her birthday and anniversary

A birthday is a very special occasion to a woman. Please never forget it because she will assess your love for her based on it.

Most women are big on birthdays and anniversaries and expect to be spoilt on these special days. 

A wife expects her husband to make her birthday special. She expects extra love and gifts on her birthday. She also expects a special gift when it is your marriage anniversary.  

5. A wife expects friendship from her husband

Another common wife expectation from husband is friendship. For a woman, marriage is not only about only about intimacy and making babies, she expects her man to be her friend or best friend. 

Couples who are friends are able to talk about everything, laugh together, do fun things together and grow old together.

If you are friends with your spouse, the marriage becomes easier, more meaningful and less boring. 

6. Wife expects her husband to be a man of his word

A wife expects her husband to always keep his word. He should fulfill all his promises. If he promises to do something, he should always deliver. 

For instance, if you had agreed to remove the trash and you forget to do it, it means that you have let her down because, in her world, it means that you are a liar and unreliable. 

7. A wife expects to be respected

As much as a man values respect in marriage, so does a woman. Your wife does not want to be treated like a child but an equal partner, even if she is younger. 

Don’t shout at her, or discipline her like you would discipline a child. You should not treat her like she is your worker but a co-partner. 

Even if she does something which does not meet your expectations, be polite when letting her know. In other words, she wants you to respect her feelings.

You should always treat her as the woman of the house even if she earns less than you or is a stay at home mom. 

Respect means that you should consult her on all the household issues and not make decisions alone. Also don’t bring visitors into the house without informing her, including your family members, because you will be undermining her authority as the woman of the house.

When she comes up with suggestions, listen to her ideas, and see how you can find a common ground.

Respect also means that you will not be controlling or try to change her. 

8.     A wife expects her husband to be a good father to the kids

Husband and wife walking after a picnic with child

A wife expects her husband to be loving to the kids; her kids out of wedlock and the kids you have in the marriage. 

This means that he should be a present and involved father in the kids’ lives. Money should not replace a dad’s role in the children’s lives. 

As you see with some men, they have time for work and friends but never really have time for their kids. 

9. A wife expects her husband to be faithful

Faithfulness is a key wife expectation from husband. Please be faithful to your wife, don’t have a straying eye. 

If there is something that you want her to do in the marriage so that you can be happier please let her know, don’t assume that she knows. 

Don’t seek pleasure in other women because if you break her trust, you will have an unpleasant home.

Cheating can lead to a divorce and kids growing up not being around both parents. Also, cheating leads to kids born out of wedlock, meaning that many kids will continue being raised by single mothers. This world is already full of bitter women and children due to men who have been unfaithful.

10. A man who helps with house chores

Times have changed and now a wife expects her husband to be modern and not traditional. She appreciates a man who also helps her out with house chores or makes her a meal.

You should seek ways to reduce her burden so that she can have the energy for other things. If you can’t assist her, atleast get her help by employing someone to do the job. 

11. A woman expects her husband to be responsible

Every wife wants a man who is responsible. This means that you should not be an alcoholic, compulsive spender, drug addict, gambling addict, fraudster, serial cheater, etc.

She also expects you to respect your job so that you do not get fired. 

12. A wife expects her husband to be a team player

For a marriage to be successful, it takes team effort. It needs both parties to dream together, communicate expectations and do what is required of them. 

For example a wife expects her man to contribute to the running of the household, he can’t fold his hands or misuse his salary and expect her to pay for all the expenses. 

13. A wife expects her husband to be ambitious and driven

A wife expects her man to be driven, ambitious, and have the desire to be great in life. Yes, women do understand that life is difficult for men these days because of women empowerment, but that shouldn’t stop you from hustling. 

Don’t let your partner be the only one who provides for the household, because deep down she wishes if things were different. So if you need to study further, take up more opportunities, or start a business, go ahead and do so. 

14. She wants to be taken out on dates and holidays

A wife appreciates being taken out on dates and being in a different environment other than her home. Relieve her from eating home-cooked meals or eating takeaways in the house by taking her out often. Treat her like you treated her when you initially started dating, don’t let go of these good habits.

Also plan a couple’s vacation atleast once a year if you can afford to; she deserves a break from her normal routine.

15. A wife expects her husband to be supportive and caring

A woman expects to be supported by her husband. She wants to know that she can always count on you for emotional, physical, and financial support. She expects her husband to be her number one support structure. 

As a husband, you should allow her to pursue her goals and don’t stand in her way. If she wants to be a career woman, let her be or if she wants to further her studies, allow her, and create a conducive environment for her to thrive. 

A wife expects her husband to be that person who supports her in her endeavors and cheer her on.

A woman also expects her husband to be caring towards her and her emotions. If she is sick, she expects her husband to show her TLC. If she needs help or assistance she expects her husband to chip in. 

Related read: 8 Misconceptions about marriage

What Does A Wife Expect From Her Husband In Bed?

What does a wife expect from her husband in bed?
Couple playing in bed

A wife expects intimacy from her husband. For a woman, it is not only about the deed, but the events leading to the deed and the execution.

Don’t just put the tool in without doing the prep work. Prepare her mentally and physically for the deed. It is also important to practice good hygiene as a man, makes it eaier for her to offer you a mouth and hand service. 

Don’t just use her as a relief mechanism or as a sleeping pill, give her pleasure.

So here are some of the things you should be doing:

1. She expects her husband to be nice to her

So during the day, tell her some sweet words to make her smile. And ensure that she is not stressed out and not too tired so that she can be in the mood and have the energy for it. 

Also talk to her, and listen to her because if a woman is not in the right state of mind, her body will not respond accordingly. 

It is important not to wait for bedtime to set the mood because it might be difficult to get her aroused. 

2. She wants to be romanced

This means that you should touch her, caress her, and kiss her before going inside. You should touch those delicate areas before using your man tool. 

3. She expects it to be clean

If you also want it orally, please wash it or wipe it so that she does not have to smell or taste the urine. 

4. She expects her husband to be gentle

A woman expects you to be gentle. Don’t just go all in at once, do it gently. In this way, she won’t feel like you are hurting her. 

5.     She wants her husband to listen to her

Your wife will guide you in terms of what gives her the most pleasure. She expects you to listen to her during the deed so that she can also have satisfaction. 

And if she is enjoying it, you won’t miss it; the sounds will tell you. If she is too quiet, it is a sign that she is just not in the mood or you are not hitting the right spot. 

6. She doesn’t expect a NO in bed

Women hate to be rejected or denied. So if she wants you to give it to her but you refuse, that will crush her. 

What Should Be Your Expectations From Your husband?

The expectations that you have in a relationship should guide the expectations that you should have in marriage. So it important to read this list of expectations in a relationship so that you do not have a superficious list for marriage. 

So you can expect your husband to show you affection, prioritise you, be intimate with you and be a family man.

What To Expect From Your Husband In a Marriage

You can expect your husband to make you the happiest woman and even feel blessed to have him in your life. But there will also be days when he will be the cause of your sorrow; because no one in perfect. 

You can expect your husband to leave his clothes on the floor and never put them in the washing basket; but that is okay. Or never to do the things that you ask him to. 

What Wives Need From Their Husbands?

Wives need a combination of a lover and a father from their husbands (although most women are not aware). That is why you find that women who grew up without their fathers will date older men or get married young. Or women end up marrying husbands with qualities similar to their fathers. 

So wives need husbands who will be heroes, providers, protectors and supporters. 

What Are Normal Expectations In A Marriage?

It is normal to expect love, affection, and respect in marriage. That is why the bible in Ephesians 5:22,25 says

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”

And 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 says, “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”


What every woman needs in marriage is to feel loved. You might have realized that you have not been meeting your wife’s expectations but it is not too late to change. As long as you are committed to listening and learning; you will eventually come right.

If you are a woman and you realize that your husband has not been meeting your expectations; you can still work things through. Don’t give up on a better marriage as yet. 

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