How do you tell if a married man is attracted to you
You know that Mr X is a married man, but why does he seem to be showing signs that he is pursuing you? Are you wondering if the signs that he is attracted to you are real or your mind is just playing tricks? He is already married so why would he be showing interest in you?
Relax, your mind is not playing games with you. Most married men still do flirt with other women. Being married does not stop them from being attracted to someone else, they still want to pursue the forbidden fruit.
The work environment is a breeding ground for most flirtations. It is much easier to pursue a colleague than it is to pursue a total stranger. Also, the chances of scoring increases since you see each other often.
A married boss can pursue his direct report, while a married man can make advances on his team member, while another may decide to pursue their ex-girlfriend or the one that got away.
There are many signs that a man will give away when he is interested in you. Some married men will tell you straight that they like you, while others will be attracted to you but still hide it.
This article will help you identify if a married man is interested in you and wants more than just friendship.
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When a married man flirts with a single woman
According to a 2004 review of the literature on flirting, Northern Illinois University professor David Dryden Henningsen, the main reasons for flirting are sex, fun, exploring, relational, esteem, and instrumental.
When a married man flirts with a single woman it does not mean that he is unhappy with his wife, he married the wrong woman or he is planning to leave his wife, it just means that he is greedy.
A married man will flirt because he misses the chase, he misses the thrill of hunting and new love, obviously this no longer happens in his marriage because he has already won the woman over.
A married man will flirt because he still wants to see if he still has game and when he realizes that he still does, it boosts his ego.
Sometimes they flirt with women who seem like easy targets, because that means a quick easy snack for them.
They even flirt with women whom they have always wanted or had fantasies of sleeping with, but these women never wanted them. They do this so that they can quench that thirst, and after the thirst is quenched, they stop pursuing you.
Pursuing a relationship with a married man is never a good idea, even if you spot signs that a married man is attracted you.
I would advise you not entertain a married man’s attention, because a lot of people will get hurt. You will get hurt when you catch feelings and he still chooses to stay with his wife. His wife and kids will also get hurt in the process.
Know these signs a married man is pursuing you so that you can act accordingly.
Beware of these 15 signs a married man wants to sleep with you, which can easily be mistaken for signs a married man is in love with you
Signs a married man is pursuing you
1. He checks up on you frequently
One of the signs that a married man is pursuing you or attracted to you is when he checks up on you often. If he is your colleague, he will come to your work station and make small talk or always join you when you are on a tea break. He creates a reason to pass by where you are just so that he can have an excuse to see you.
He will ask you for your personal numbers or find your numbers somehow, so that he can call you and text you about work and other non-work-related things.
If you are colleagues, he might call to ask you about a meeting that you both have to attend and he does this so that he can have an excuse to talk to you.
Read more: 15 Signs a male coworker likes you but is hiding it
And when he does not see you at work, he might even text or call to check if you are fine.
You will soon notice that you have that person who cares about you because not a long time passes without him reaching out to you. And because you get used to his attention, you will even begin to return the favor.
You will begin to initiate contact as well when he does not check up on you. Just be careful when you reach the stage of feeling a void when he has not reached out to you. When you start to miss him, it can be a sign that you are falling for him.
2. He wants to meet up with you alone
When a married man is attracted to you, he will create an excuse to meet up with you. He will offer to buy you lunch just so that he can have alone time with you. If he sees you sitting alone, he may even leave his crew or drop everything he was doing so that he can spend time with you.
And when he meets up with you, he will prefer if it is just the two of you, because three is a crowd. You will notice that if your friends or colleagues are part of the meeting, he won’t be as excited about the meeting. You will also notice that he never brings any of his crew along, it is just only him and you during your meetings.
3. He becomes jealous when he sees you flirting with other guys
If a married man sees you entertaining other guys or other men flirting with you, he will become jealous. When a man becomes jealous, it is a sign that he wants you for himself. You will notice that he is jealous when he suddenly changes or gives you the silent treatment. He might also ask you questions about the guy or even imply that the other guy is your boyfriend.
He can even go to the extent of mentioning that the other guy is a player, while he is the biggest player since he is already married.
4. He downplays his marriage
Sometimes a married man will not even disclose that he is married and that is why you have to be on the lookout for signs that you might be dating a married man.
If you already know that he is married, he will try to act as if his wife does not exist, he will hardly talk about her in your presence. If you ask him about his wife, he will avoid the topic or tell you that things are bad or say that let’s rather not talk about her.
He might even just remove his ring when he is with you so that you do not have to focus on the fact that he is married. Or he might even mention that if he met you years earlier, he would have married you.
It is important to know that married men are master of lies, he will never tell you that he is happily married, he only just wants to use you because if he is honest, you will not be interested in him. Read these signs that a married man is using you.
5. He shows interest in your work and hobbies
When a married man is attracted to you, he will show interest in your work. If you are a writer like me, he will follow all your work. He will become your greatest supporter, he will buy all your materials, subscribe to your blog, read all your articles and commend you on the well written, informative articles that you publish.
If he hears you talk at a meeting, he will tell you that you did well, that was a valid point that you raised.
And him showing interest in your work will melt your heart and you will befriend him even more. But be careful, because this is a proven strategy that works when you want to win your target over.
6. He is inquisitive about your love life
Another sign that a married man is pursuing you is when he enquires about your love life. He will ask you if you have a boyfriend, if you stay together, if you are happy and all sort of personal uncomfortable questions.
And because he is married, you will not see it as a sign that he is attracted to you, you will think that he is just making conversation or just being a concerned brother. When a married man asks such questions, he wants to know if he stands a chance with you. He wants to know how hard he has to work in order to win you over and find out what you like in a guy.
He may even just badmouth potential crushes so that other men won’t stand a chance with you. It is important to know that men are very selfish by nature. Although he already has someone, he wouldn’t want someone else to have you.
7. He compliments you often
When a married man is pursuing you, he will compliment you more than any other person at your workplace. He will pay attention to you and even notice the slightest changes or details. He will tell you that you look nice in that dress, or your new hairstyle suits you very well.
You will notice that he is always throwing compliments your way, even when it is not necessary. He will also compliment you on how smart and beautiful you are. He makes you feel beautiful, which boosts your self-esteem.
8. He buys you gifts
A clear sign that a married man is attracted to you is when he spends on you. He will offer to buy you lunch. Some married man can even offer to take care of your bigger expenses like paying for your car or rent.
A married man will be interested in knowing when your birthday is coming so that he can shower you with gifts and love. That will definitely melt your heart because women love thoughtful gestures.
(But know that this arrangement won’t be forever. After he has achieved their mission, which is satisfying his lustful desires, he will leave you and stop doing all these great things)
9. He gives you so much attention
A married man will give you attention when he is attracted to you. He will listen to you attentively and make the conversation about you, your desires, your fears, your family, etc. Once in a while he will even mention something that you said a while ago in order with the intention to impress you.
The kind of attention that he gives can make you even fall for him, because there is no one who gives you the same level of attention.
Read more: 12 Signs a married man cares for you
10. He initiates physical touch
He will hug you when he meets you after not seeing you for some days. And he will also lean closer to you when talking to you. And pat your shoulder, or even accidentally touch you when laughing. He can ask to check out your nails just so that he has an excuse to hold your hands. He may even prefer to sit right next to you at a seating area so he can touch you with his legs.
11. He comes to you for a second opinion
When he consults you before making decisions, it can be a sign that a married man is pursuing you. When he wants to buy something or do something he will first consult you. He will ask for your opinion when he has to buy a gadget, or a new car, where he should invest his money, or what he can do for his mom’s birthday, etc. He makes you his trusted advisor and makes you believe that he really values your opinion.
12. His eyes follow you around
Another sign that a married man is pursuing you is when his eyes are always looking at you. Every time when you look his direction you notice that he has been looking at you.
Even when you walk away from him, he looks at you until you are out of sight. He might also give you that winking eye that says I lust you. Others even look at your chest area when they are with you which can be definite signs a married man is sexually attracted to you.
13. He agrees to do you favors
If you ask him for any favor, he will do it. He will go out of his way to make you happy. If you need manpower or someone to drive you, he will make means. Or if you need cash, he will gladly assist, but know that for him he sees it as an investment. He will get it back in kind when you lose your guard. Agreeing to do you favours is an opportunity for him to talk to you often.
14. He asks you to run some errands for him
A married man who is pursuing you can even ask you to run some errands for him. He can ask you to buy him lunch when he sees you going to the shops. Such gives him the chance to have more interactions with you. When you agree it makes him feel good and raises his hopes that in future you will also agree to other bigger things like allowing him in between your legs.
15. He does not want to introduce you to his wife
When a married man is pursuing you, he will never want to introduce you to his wife. Even if there are work events where he can invite a plus one, he will not come with her. He does not want you to meet her because he still wants to stand a good chance with you.
If you happen to be around his wife, he will act very serious, he will be a completely different man around you. He will be very professional; he won’t want to raise her suspicions that he might be attracted to someone else.
16. His image changes
Another sign that a married man is attracted to you is when he changes his image for you. You will notice that he dresses up differently, and even grooms his hair more often so that he looks neat. He will also make sure that you notice that something about him has changed.
What to do if a married man is pursuing you
A married man will make you feel loved and attractive, because he knows what a single woman wants. You will even feel like he understands you better than all the men you have been with.
It is important to note that a married person will be more patient with you, because he already has a wife. He is already receiving what he wants from you.
His patience and attention to detail will make you believe that he really likes you, but to him it is just a game and wants you only for your body. He knows that his actions act as a lubricant, so that the process can be smooth when you finally do the deed.
But be warned, when you play with a married man, you are playing with fire. In most cases, there are never good endings.
A married man is wrong for pursuing you, but it is your responsibility to stop it before it gets too far. Stop giving him the attention that he wants and also stop accepting his gifts. Stop flirting with him or sending mixed signals, interact with him only on a professional level if you are colleagues.
Also make it clear to him that you don’t date married men, if he is serious, he must first provide you with his divorce certificate.
FAQ
How do you tell if a married man is pursuing you
When a married man is pursuing you, you will see it in his actions. He will downplay his marriage but flirt with you, check up on you often and compliment your looks and even how you think. He might even offer to buy you lunch and even buy you a gift on your birthday.
How do you know if a married man likes you secretly
Signs a married man likes you but is hiding it is when he does the following:
- He blushes when talking to you
- When he bumps into you he can’t help but smile
- He stares at you a lot, but look away if you look into his direction
- He takes interest in your personal life
- A married man will be too kind to you, meaning that he is willing to give you any form of assistance
- He likes talking to you
Read more: 25 Signs he loves you secretly
How do you know if a married man loves you more than his wife?
When a married man loves you more than his wife this is what he will do:
- He will file for divorce and he will show you proof thereof
- He will leave his wife for you
- If he loves you he won’t hide your relationship
- He will no longer stay in the same house as his wife
- He will spend most of his time with you
- A married man will be available for you anytime you want to see him
- He will marry you
- He will show you public affection, even in the presence of his wife or family members or colleagues
Signs a married man likes you through text
When a married man likes you through text this is what he will do:
- He will respond to all your texts
- He will be very quick to type his response
- His replies are detailed, he doesn’t give one word responses
- He uses flirty emojis
- He wants to know more about you
- When he is busy and can’t text you rightaway, he lets you know.
- He wants to meet up with you in person
Read more: Signs he caught feelings through text
Signs a married man likes you more than a friend
- He shows signs of jealousy when you entertain other men or talk about other men
- He does not like talking about his wife in his conversations
- When you need him he avails himself
- He spend too much time with you
- He does not introduce you to his wife
- If you work together he will buy you lunch and even buys you gifts on special days
- He flirts with you
- He sends you flirty texts
