If you are reading this, how to ignore a cheating husband, I can imagine the pain you went through after finding out that your husband has cheated on you, repeatedly. Being cheated on is a heartbreaking and painful experience. 

Some people might say, why do you have to endure the pain of being cheated on, instead of just divorcing him? 

But I understand that you might have valid reasons why you prefer to stay in such an unhealthy marriage, and rather opt to ignore him. 

Maybe you still want to stay with him for financial security. You do not want to see your kids suffer as a result of the divorce

Or you stand to lose more.

Maybe you stand by your wedding vows; for better or worse.

Or you believe things can still get better

Or you are not yet ready to take drastic action

Maybe you have a fear of being single

Whatever your reasons are, they are okay. This article is not meant to judge you, but to provide you with practical solutions on how to ignore your cheating husband and still be happy. 

According to research done by the Institute for Family Studies, 20% of married men have reported that they have cheated, and personally I believe that the percentage is much higher than this. But 20% means that 1 in 5 homes have experienced cheating, which is still a very high number.

According to an article in Rewire, it says that 70% of couples stay together after an affair is discovered.

Read more: How to deal with a cheating husband in 13 steps

Table of Contents

• How to ignore a cheating husband
• What is the best way to handle a cheating husband?
• How do I act with a cheating husband
• How can I hurt my cheating husband
• How to treat a cheating husband
• What to say to your cheating husband

How to ignore a cheating husband

1. Why do you want to ignore your cheating husband?

It is important to first establish why you want to ignore your cheating husband. What do you want to achieve through this act?

Do you want to ignore him because you are still hopeful about your marriage, but you want him to indirectly feel your absence so that he stops his cheating ways and focus only on you?

Or you have already given up on the marriage, but divorce is not yet or never an option for you?

Or you are indifferent? You just want to focus on yourself and your kids and the outcome does not really matter? 

The below tips will help you ignore your husband effectively, regardless of the phase you are at in your marriage.

Read more: How to ignore someone you love and live with

2. Take a temporary break

After someone has messed up, this is the only time that you have bargaining power. So you might want to use it to your advantage. 

Go on a short sabbatical so that you can think straight and clearly without any interruptions. Even if it is just for a day, or two, or even a week. If the kids are still young to take care of themselves, delegate the responsibility. 

This is a period where you must be selfish and put yourself first. Your kids are important, but your wellbeing is also very important because if you do not feel great, you will not be able to give other people the best version of yourself.

See this is your journey to healing and self-discovery because it can be difficult to do a self-reflection when you are occupied.

Be truthful to yourself about how this situation makes you feel. Cry if you must because it can be difficult to cry in front of the kids. 

Also, think of your future. If the sky was the limit, what would you want to achieve? What would you want the world to remember you as after you are gone?

Read more: 9 ways to heal after being cheated on

3. Don’t blame yourself

If your husband is a narcissist and blames you for his cheating, block the manipulation. Do not allow your brain to believe his lies because some men can be good at gaslighting. Read these gaslighting signs, phrases, and examples. 

Don’t try to convince yourself that maybe it is your fault he cheated, because there is nothing you could have done to prevent him from cheating, unless if you cheated first and he did not truly forgive you for it.

Do not entertain the thoughts that tell you that you are not good enough, that is why he cheated. Men cheat for many other reasons and not because something is lacking in the marriage.

After you win the mental battle, it becomes easier to ignore a cheating husband.

4. Do things that will make you gain back your confidence

After being cheated on by your husband, your esteem will take a knock because you will feel like you are not good enough. 

You might even begin to second-guess yourself and feel like your life is a lie. 

You might become too insecure and paranoid because every time you are not in your husband’s presence, you might feel like he is cheating. 

If you make a few changes to your life, you can overcome these insecurities. 

Marriage and taking care of a household is too much work and can make one neglect their appearance. Exercising can be therapeutic and can help you feel lighter and help you reach your fitness goals.

Also, a change of hairstyle, wearing clothes that suit your body, doing your nails, putting on some makeup, and wearing heels, then you go out, will help boost your confidence.

If you look great you will feel great. And it will also help you get compliments from other people. And the attention you will get from the streets will make you feel beautiful and wanted. 

But you just want to be careful not to fall for them because they might just want to sleep with you.

Read more: 9 reasons marriage changes after having kids

5. Do the things you have always wanted to do

Other than getting married, do you still have goals that you have not yet accomplished? Maybe your goals were to travel, or to write books, or to study, or to learn how to make nice food; now use this as an opportunity to do just that. 

If you wanted to take up an international opportunity but you were worried about leaving your husband behind, now you can do so.

Putting yourself first and focusing on what makes you happy is the best way to ignore a cheating husband. You gain both your sanity and your freedom. 

6. Work towards your independence

If you want to successfully ignore a cheating husband, you must be independent. Because if you ignore him while you are dependent on him, he might also ignore you when you need money. 

Do something that can help you generate your own income. Start a business, be a blogger, find a job, upgrade yourself so you can find a better-paying job. 

7.     Revive friendships and make new ones

Most women neglect their friendships when they get married. But men keep all their friends even after getting married.

If you want to ignore your cheating husband, you must have buddies. These are people you can laugh and cry with and even help you forget that you are lonely in the marriage. 

Revive those old friendships and make new ones, because the bigger the circle the better. 

8. Spend more time with family

Marriage can also make you neglect your immediate family. If you want to ignore a cheating husband, you must form a close bond with your parents, siblings, and extended family. You know the saying; “blood is thicker than water?”

9. Go out by yourself or with other people

If there was a place you’ve always wanted to go to or an activity that you have always wanted to do, go ahead and do it. 

If your husband does not want to do it with you, do it alone. Go on that vacation whether internationally or locally, go to a spa, go bungee jumping, go to that festival, etc

10. Find your purpose

When you are living your purpose, that is when you live a meaningful life. 

Discovering your purpose will help you ignore your cheating husband because you will no longer be moved by what he does with his life since you are also focusing on your lane. 

Living your purpose includes, but is not limited to, mentoring young people, forming a charity organization, inspiring people with your story or gifts, fighting for a cause you believe in; the list is endless. 

11. Find a hobby

If you are serious about ignoring your cheating husband, it is necessary to have a hobby. Go play some sport, swim, cycle, or you can even learn how to bake. 

Do whatever that you can do to keep yourself busy consistently. 

This will keep your time and mind occupied and it will help you meet new people. 

12. Volunteer your time

Join a group or organization and commit to it. It can be joining a church group and serving at church, or even an orphanage or any establishment where you can be a regular member and volunteer your time and skills.

13. Don’t neglect the kids

When trying to ignore a cheating husband, you still want to show love and care to the kids. Spend time with them and don’t badmouth your husband to them. 

Also, don’t argue with your husband in front of the kids. You do not want them growing in a hostile environment. 

If a peaceful environment cannot be achieved, maybe you are better off separating from your husband.

14. Get help

Having someone that you can help you unpack your feelings, can make a difference. You might want to see a therapist, psychologist, marriage counselor in your area. 

Sometimes what you need might be someone to help you work through the root cause, which can help address the deficiencies in your marriage.

15. Stay away from his phone

You might be tempted to go through his phone to check if he is still cheating. Don’t check, give him have his privacy. 

You do not want to cause yourself unnecessary stress if you happen to come across texts, images, and call records that suggest that he might still be cheating. 

If you want to be happier and productive, avoid checking your husband’s phone.

16. Don’t babysit him

Avoid babysitting a grown man. If he is not home by a certain time, just let him be. Don’t bother calling him or shouting at him when he gets back home late. You can also just delay coming back home one of these days.

If he does not tell you where he is going when he leaves the house, let him be. Next time just don’t tell him when you also go somewhere.

17. Refuse to be intimate with him without protection

If you have decided that you still want to continue with the marriage and you do not want to be just housemates, you will have to refuse to be intimate with him without protection. 

Refuse to be intimate with him until he agrees to get tested. Your health is a priority and it is important to also get tested after finding out about his infidelity. 

If you find out that you are positive, know that it is not the end of the world. You can still live a long, healthy life, you just have to take the prescribed medication.

18. Don’t complain to him but to God

You might still be hurting and untrusting of him. But don’t shout at him or threaten him, just take all your worries and fears before God. Tell God how you feel about your situation and marriage and you will experience the peace of God that surpasses all understanding. 

The bible in Phillipians 4:6 -7 says

⁶ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 

19. Know when to stop

If ignoring him makes you feel drained, then stop doing it. Find help as a couple or part ways.

Read more: 10 Signs he regrets cheating and wants to rebuild trust

In short, the best way to know how to ignore a cheating husband is by choosing to live your life. Let marriage not be a barrier to living your purpose.

What is the best way to handle a cheating husband?

The best way to handle a cheating husband is to focus on you and not him. Do not dwell on what you can do to stop him from cheating, but focus on what you can do to stop yourself from feeling the pain of being cheated on. 

You can focus on making yourself happy, instead of only focusing on how to make him happy. The more you focus on yourself, the more attractive you will be to him and other people. You will soon get so much attention from other men, but it does not mean that you should cheat also.

How do I act with a cheating husband

When you have a cheating husband, it can affect your self-esteem. Do things that will boost your confidence and make you happy. Act normal in public and to your cheating husband. 

Also know that many people have experienced cheating, but they are still living their lives and glowing. 

If you are being disrespected by his side chicks, address the matter with him and tell him to tell his girlfriends to stop contacting you.

How can I hurt my cheating husband

1. The best way to hurt a cheating husband is to divorce him, unless if he no longer loves you, then he will not be hurt by your decision. 
2. You can post an image of him and his other woman, but make sure that the only people who can see it is him and his other woman. You don’t want the entire world knowing your affairs
3. Go out often
4. Upgrade yourself
5. Stop being dependent on him
6. Pause doing the things that you were doing for him. 
7. If he expects you to treat him badly but you are kind, he will even sleep with one eye open, or think that you are cheating.

How to treat a cheating husband

If he is serious about winning back your trust he will agree if you want to babysit him until you feel comfortable or no longer feel insecure. 

But remember there is nothing that you can do to stop him from cheating, even if you can track all his movements. 

The question should be how to treat yourself when you have a cheating husband? Show yourself some love, reassure yourself that you are beautiful and that you are not the problem.

Read more: Effective ways to deal with a cheating husband

What to say to your cheating husband

1. Tell him how you feel
2. Why did you cheat?
3. Do you want to be in the marriage or you want her?
4. How many times did you cheat?
5. How long was the affair?
6. Do you think that what you did is wrong or you just sorry I found out?
7. Do you have kids outside the marriage
8. How many other people did you cheat with?
9. If I cheated on you, how would you feel about it?
10. If you found out that your daughter is being cheated on, how would you feel?
11. Am I stupid for choosing to stay with you and remain faithful to you?
12. Why should I stay with you?
13. Tell him how things are going to change going forward
14. Show me proof that the affairs have ended