Daily women find out that their partners are cheating and they still struggle to understand why they cheated. I had the liberty of interviewing a group of married and single men to understand why they cheat and they all provided me with similar responses.

Read more on what to heal after being cheated on

1. LUST is the number one reason

The leading cause of cheating is lust. Lust means to have a very strong sexual desire for someone. When a man lays his eyes on a woman who is pleasing to his eyes, he quickly undresses and desires to sleep with her. Men are wired differently from women because when a woman crushes on a man, she sees someone she can be in a relationship with and not just a once-off or occasional sex thing whilst if a man has a crush on a woman, he sees someone to have sex with.

A man can easily lust over a woman for years even if he is in a relationship and that thirst won’t be quenched until he has slept with her. In most cases, he does not put emotions into it, he just pursues the woman in order to satisfy his sexual desire and not necessarily to make her his partner. The state of his relationship with his wife or partner is irrelevant when he decides to lust over a woman.  

A man can sleep with more than one woman on the same day and not feel guilty about it. The fact that he had breakfast from his wife won’t stop him from eating lunch in the street.

King David from the bible also lusted

It is even written in the bible that when King David saw Bathsheba bathing, he lusted over her and asked his servants to call her so that he can sleep with her. He had many wives and concubines, yet he still wanted to sleep with someone else who was not his official woman. This just shows that a man’s sexual desire cannot be satisfied, he is too greedy, he is never content with what he has.

Men are masters of lies

When a man wants to sleep with a woman, they don’t come out straight and say “hey I am lusting over you, let’s have sex”; he will formulate all sorts of lies and make her feel special in order to win her over. If he is married he can even tell lies like “I am not married or I no longer love my wife, we are constantly fighting or we are going through a divorce.” Or he can even say “I have always liked or loved you.” He can even shower her with gifts or money, or even strategise to ensure that his goal is fulfilled. Also, a man also does not mind lying to his wife or partner and put the relationship at risk just so he can satisfy his craving.

We often judge a woman who sleeps with a married man, only to find that she was also initially lied to. She believed that his affection was genuine, only to later feel used when he is no longer emotionally and physically available.

2. Men cannot resist women

If a woman throws herself at a man, it is very difficult for him to say no or to run away. He will seize the opportunity, although he knows that he is in a committed relationship. When he sleeps with her, it does not mean that he has any feelings for her, to him it is just a meal being brought on a silver platter. It is an easy game for him because he did not have to put in any effort or tell any lies to sleep with her.

Whilst if a man pursues a woman, a woman might not easily sleep with him especially if she is in a relationship.  

3. They love the thrill

They easily get bored with routine sex and want something different and wild. So they end up sleeping with different women because they give them different experiences.

4. Alcohol and friends

The culture of men of leaving their partners behind and going out to drink with friends fosters the environment for cheating. When people are drunk they get the courage to do things that they would not normally do and they don’t think of the consequences. Also when you are drunk you become sexually aroused or horny.

When men are amongst each other, the conversations that they have promote cheating. They freely talk about their cheating activities and a man is considered a legend if he was able to swing a story to his woman after he got caught. Also when a man is with his friends, he can freely come along with his side partners and there won’t be any repercussions.

Read: Should you stay in the relationship after being cheated on?

5. Having too much money

When a man suddenly has more money, his confidence also grows. He is now able to attract hot girls which were not in his league before he had money. Money increases the pool of women that a man can access.

6. Impatient when a woman is not sexually available

Some men are just impatient, if they can’t get it home then they have to get it elsewhere. A woman will not always be sexually available since one week monthly she goes on her periods, or after giving birth she can’t have sex 6 weeks and for some it can even be longer, or due to other health conditions.

There are also times when a woman chooses to abstain until marriage and a man can respect her decision, while he is busy getting it from elsewhere. Also when the couple is in a long distance relationship, and a man might find ways to ensure that his sexual needs are taken care of.

7. Not happy in the relationship

When a man is not happy, respected, supported, or appreciated in the relationship, he will find consolation in the arms of another woman. From the reasons mentioned above, this is the only reason where a man was pushed to cheat due to a woman’s actions. However, the problem with men is that they do not communicate their feelings. A woman can think that everything is fine while a man is bleeding inside due to certain words that were uttered by her.

Read more on how to make a man happy

8. Loose ends with exes

In most cases, a man will never tell a woman that the relationship is over, he will just disengage. So this makes it easier for him in the future to tell his exes that have never really broken up. So when the opportunity presents itself, they kind of continue where they left off.

Read more on should you give the relationship another chance

9. Still searching for the one

When a man enters into a relationship, he knows if the woman is for keeps or if she is just a fling to keep him busy while he continues with his search. He will keep his options open and have multiple partners. Many marriages were formed out of a man’s cheating, because a man is normally found in the arms of another, and because they lie they never tell the woman they like that they are already in a relationship.

Read: Do you know if your partner is cheating on you? Don’t avoid these signs.