So your partner has just proposed or told you that he has got intentions of sending his family for lobola negotiations, and the wedding bells start to ring. The road to the perfect wedding is not as perfect as you see it on the wedding day, because it involves a lot of people who have their own preferences and expectations.

1. Wedding venue

The budget, expected number of guests and type of setting preferred will determine the venue that one will choose.

• Do you prefer the matrimony to be held indoors or outdoors? And will this area be in the same place as the reception or different places?
• Where will the wedding pictures be taken, at the same place as the matrimony or at a different location? 
• If you prefer outdoors, will there be an alternative in case if the weather is not favorable?
• Is the venue all-inclusive meaning that it will look after the catering, décor etc or it is only venue hire? 
• How many people will you be inviting and will the venue be able to handle the capacity? 
• At which time of the year will the wedding take place? Some venues are cheaper during off-peak periods or during the week.

All-inclusive venue vs venue hire only

An all-inclusive venue can be very expensive as they charge for the venue, cost of decoration, and food per person. If one expects a large number it can be very costly. A wedding for less than 100 people can easily cost R100 000.

2. Venue Decoration

Decoration is very important as it sets the tone of the wedding.

• What is your preferred wedding theme?
• What is your budget for the decoration?
• Who will do the decoration and will they be able to offer you what you want? Does the decorator have credible references?
• If your decorator does not have all the items that you require, where will you hire from?
• Who will be responsible for the damage costs if the guests break the décor items or leave with some of the items?

3. Wedding cake

What is a wedding without cake? You will have to decide on the type of cake you want i.e. fruit cake or sponge cake, the design including the number of tiers, flavor, colours, and also if you want more cupcakes instead. You have to decide on who will bake the cake and how much you are willing to spend on a cake.

4. Catering

Let’s be honest, attending a wedding the whole day and listening to speeches can be tiring. And the only reason why people sit for the entire session is because of food.

• How many guests will have to be catered for? It is better to have more food than less, you don’t want your valued guests going back home hungry.
• How much is your budget on catering?
• What will be on the menu? Are you going to have a starter, main course and dessert? When and how will these be served?
• Who will do your catering and are they reputable? Do they have all the necessary utensils, food warmers and dishes?
• How many serving points are you going to have? Your guests can’t be eating late just because there aren’t enough serving points.

5. Video and Photography

The reason why people get married is so that they are able to capture the moment, and keep the memory alive for years to come.

• Who will do the videography and photography, have you seen their work before?
• What is your budget on video and the photos?
• Where will the main photographs be taken and how long should the session be?

6. Wedding program

A wedding can be beautiful but if the programme is not well structured, people will be disengaged.

• Who will be the pastor officiating the wedding?
• Who will be the master of ceremony (MC) and who will be the speakers?
• What forms of entertainment will you have?
• Will you have a live band or you will have a DJ?

7. Wedding invitation

How and when will you get the message out there that you are getting married? Do you prefer formal hardcopy invitation e.g. custom made printed cards, or ready made cards where you simply add the message? Or do you prefer electronic invites where you can use website invites, social media, email, sms etc. This will depend on the budget and if you use technology as a medium, it becomes cheaper. Who you are going to invite and the number of invitees will influence the medium of the invite. Just be sure to include the following:

• Who is getting married
• Date of the wedding
• Time of the wedding
• Where the wedding will be held
• Images of the people getting married
• If it is a family, the names of the parents since the older generation might not know the kids. 
• How to RSVP
• Type of wedding or theme.
• You can also add the type of gifts that you wish for or the gift registry reference.

8. Wedding dress or dresses

For many ladies, a wedding day is about the perfect dress. We dream about the dress years before there is even a proposal. So when the time finally comes, it is important to ask these questions:

• How much are you willing to spend on your wedding dress or dresses?
• Will you buy the dress off the shelf or will it be custom made or will you hire the dress?
• These days with traditional weddings being on the rise it might mean finding someone reputable to custom make the outfit.
• It is important to think of the jewellery that will go with the outfit.
• What shoes will you wear?
• What hairstyle will you have and who will be the stylist?
• Who will do your nails?
• Who will do your make-up
• What type of bouquet do you want and who will make it for you?
• Are you going to wear a gutter?

9. Groom’s outfit

What is the groom going to wear? Will it be a suit with a tie, or a custom made outfit etc What shoes will he wear? Does he have any specific haircut in mind?

10. Bridal Party

• Who will be the bridesmaids, groomsmen, maid or matron of honour and best man?
• Are the selected people reliable, meaning that they will not come up with excuses during the last hour?
• Will the bridal party afford their clothing or you might have to buy for them?
• What will they wear? Will the clothes be tailored, purchased off the shelf or hired? 
• Should their hairstyles, shoes, accessories be the same or it can be different?
• Will you organize professional makeup for them or they should each do their own makeup?
• Will they carry bouquets or it will only be for the bride?

11. Bridal Party dance

• Who will choreograph the wedding dance?
• How will you pair the bridesmaid and the groomsmen?
• When and how often will practice take place and will it be feasible to meet earlier if people are in different locations?

12. Wedding rings

What is a wedding without a ring? This is an element that can’t be forgotten. You will need rings for both the bride and groom. There are rings for any price and what will drive your choice is the budget. It is important to buy the rings in advance so that there can still be time for resizing if the ring is not a good fit. Also don’t forget to bring them along to the wedding venue, you might have to use a ring-bearer.

13. The legal marriage signing

It is important to think of the type of marriage contract that will be applicable to you, whether in community of property or out of community  of property. If you choose out of property, you will have to prepare the legal document before being legally married.

Read more on the types of marriage contracts.

Another thing to consider is that if the officiating pastor is not a marriage officer, you will have to make means to also get married at home affairs. You will have to make an appointment weeks in advance as there is a long queue of people who want to get married.

14. Wedding convoy or entrance

Are you and your bridal team going to be using specific cars, or a chopper, bikes, or a boat to make your grand entrance, this is something to think about. If you are, don’t forget to arrange with the owners on time and also allocate time to decorate them on the day.

15. Transport and accommodation

How will you and the key people at the wedding reach the wedding venue? People from far they might have to be transported and accommodated. Some family members might rely on you to arrange a common transport for them.

16. Other

Gift bags: As an extra, you can make gift bags to thank your guests for attending. Gift bags don’t have to be expensive considering that you have already spent a fortune on the other items.

First dance: If you are going to render an item as a couple, you will have to practice beforehand

Toast: Don’t forget to get the champagnes for the toast.

If you will have a welcoming ceremony at the groom’s home, you will also have to consider the above because it will mean additional decoration, catering, clothing etc.