Relationships can be quite stressful because it can be difficult to know if a guy is really into you or not. Thanks to this article, you will be able to spot signs he’s not into earlier on.

A guy can flirt with you and think that he likes you only to be frustrated once you are in a relationship with him.

It is easy to ignore clear signs that a guy is not into you when you are in love. It is therefore important to constantly evaluate if you are not being taken for granted.

Some signs of a man who is not into you can easily be mistaken for signs of a man who is cheating or signs that you might be dating a married man.

If a man is really into you, during the initial stages of the relationship he will be the one putting in the effort, until he realizes that you also feel the same way about him. Don’t ignore these signs because they might save your fragile heart from getting hurt.

1. You always initiate calls

If he hardly calls and you are always the one to initiate calls, then it is a clear sign that he’s not into you. When a man is serious about you, he will make an effort to call as often as possible if you don’t see him daily.

When you ask someone who is not into you why he doesn’t call you, he will give excuses like he was very busy, or it was on silent, or he didn’t have the charger, or he prefers meeting in person than making calls. He even lies and says he was just about to call when you called.

When you are with him he is always calling people but you wonder why he doesn’t have time to call you when you are not with him.

Don’t ignore this early warning sign, because it will save you from investing in someone who is not into you.

2. He doesn’t spend time with you

In a normal relationship, a man will prefer spending most of his time with his girlfriend than anyone else. If he is always “too busy” to see you, it is one of the signs he’s not into you. Someone who is serious will still make time for friends, but you are priority.

Someone who is not into you will not want you to visit him at his place without permission and neither does he come to you when you want him to. Meeting up with him feels like a blessing because it is a rare occasion. Such a person always seems to have time for everyone else but you. He will tell you that he was with friends or cousins or had to help his mom or was caught up at work.

If you are with someone who meets you on his own terms you might want to be careful because it can be a sign that he has someone in his life that he is more serious about or he is even married.

3. He doesn’t get jealous

If you talk about other guys or mention that you are meeting your male friend and he doesn’t get jealous then you should be worried. Men are very jealous by nature and wouldn’t want to feel threatened. But if your man is okay with you hanging out with any guy, it is not a sign that he is very understanding or he is not the jealous type, it is a sign he’s not into you.

Just try and test him and tell him that you are meeting your guy friend later and see his reaction.

4. He’s already told you he’s not ready for anything serious

If a man has already indicated that he is not ready for anything serious, then it is a clear sign he’s not into you. A man already knows from the time he approaches you if he wants a serious relationship with you or not.  

If he has already told you and you pursue such a relationship, then you are entering such a relationship at your own risk. Don’t think that he will change later on and love you, because the issue is not with him but you, you are not what he wants.

5. He only wants to meet with you for sex

If all your meetings are centered around sex, then it may be a sign that he only wants to use you for sexual gain. If he doesn’t want to meet you when you are on your periods, then it is a clear sign he’s not into you.

When you are in a normal relationship, you will meet in different settings and not just in the bedroom, because you want to get to know each other better and do things together as a couple.

A man who is into you will want to spend time with you, whether you are sexually available or not.

Read more: Mistakes women make when in a relationship

6. He okay with you abstaining from sex

Sex is really tricky when it comes to relationships. A man can want to use you just for sex but he can also be patient and wait for you to be ready. In some instances, a man does not mind waiting because he is not really serious about you, so whether you give him or not, he is still going to get it elsewhere either way. And when you eventually give in, it doesn’t really make him love you more, it is just a bonus for him.

7. He doesn’t show you any of the love languages

Being in love with someone who is into you is clear because he will make you feel loved. A man who is into you will make use of more than one love language to portray his love for you. My belief is that a man should love more in a relationship. Any normal relationship is bound to have at least one of these:

• words of affirmation
• gifts
• acts of service
• quality time
• physical touch

In a normal relationship, your partner should offer you words of love and support. He should spoil you once in a while. If he can, he should support you by doing other things for you. If he is serious he must spend quality time with you. And he should also hold you and not only just during lovemaking. If all these are lacking in your relationship, then he’s not into you.

8. He always disappoints you

If you set up an appointment with him and he always cancels or he just doesn’t pitch, or he promises to do something and he constantly does not deliver, then it is one of the signs he’s not into you. If a man is into you, he will try by all means not to disappoint you. Someone who is into you will make you trust him.

9. He doesn’t text you or respond to your texts timely

A man who is not into you will be online chatting to other people but he will not be chatting to you. Even when you text him, he will take time to respond although you can see that he is online.

10. He doesn’t get back to your calls

Most of the time when you call him he does not pick up and sometimes he will not even bother returning your calls. This can also be one of the signs that he is cheating.

11. He doesn’t want to meet your close circle

When he is not into you, even if you want to attend certain events with him or suggest that he meets your crew he will always make up excuses. A man who is in love will try by all means to make his woman happy, and if attending a braai with her friends will make her happy, he will do it.

12. He does not want to meet you in public spaces

When he does not want to take you out on dates or go in public spaces with you like the park or the shops, it is one of the signs that he’s not into you. When a man is in love, he will not see a need to hide you from the public. This can also be a relationship red flag that you should not ignore.

13. If you break up with him, he won’t make an effort to get you back

If you happen to end the relationship because you are tired of his behaviour, he will not even bother to fight for you. He will not even call you or text you or even come to see you. And even if you have blocked him, he will not even notice since he won’t try to contact you. You will be the one to eventually go back to him because you miss the non-existent relationship.

14. He doesn’t celebrate special days with you

A guy who is not into you will not take the important dates seriously. He will tell you that he does not believe in celebrating Valentine’s Day, Anniversaries etc. He will not even remember your birthday and when you remind him, he will act like he forgot or he was very busy that is why he could not come. And he will opt to get you a birthday gift on a different day, and that is only after you have pushed him.

15. You constantly beg for his attention

One of the signs he’s not into you is when you constantly have to beg for attention. You always have to remind him to call you, to text you, to visit you, etc. And when you are together he is not emotionally there. He is either too busy on his phone or busy with other tasks or he prefers to just take a nap instead of bonding with you.

16. He suggests that you are paranoid

When you complain about his behaviour, he will suggest that you are imagining things, or even tell you that you are too clingy. He makes you doubt yourself and suggests that you have unreasonable demands. Such a person gaslights you, and makes you question your thoughts.

17. He’s on and off

There are days when he’s really into you while most days  he is hostile towards you. He gives you the silent treatment even when you have not done him wrong. He is easily offended because he’s not really into you.

Read more: 12 Ways to make him serious about you