12 Ways to make him commit to you alone

Relationships are very complicated and sometimes you need a strategy if you want to get him to commit to a serious relationship. When you date a guy, you never really know if you are just a fling or the relationship is serious. Some people say that you get a man from another woman’s arms, which basically means that there is no man who is single but that should not stop you from pursuing a relationship with him.

Normally when a man pursues you, it is highly likely that he is still in another relationship. There is a woman who is satisfying him sexually yet this poor woman doesn’t know that her boyfriend is still searching for the one.

There are signs that a man is not serious about you, and once you spot them, you should take drastic action. You will need to act so that you become the main girl that he might eventually marry. If you don’t play the game right, you will always be that girl that men play with. Read these 12 things that you should do when entering a relationship.

1. Live your own life

If you want to get him to commit, you must first commit to yourself. He must know that you have your own ambitions and are self-sufficient. Never make him feel like he is your only goal or project, let him see that he is just an add-on.

Don’t just wait to be found by Mr Right, wait for him while progressing with your life. Invest in yourself and your development, don’t wait for a man to improve you.

I remember when my husband came into my life, I was busy. My schedule was a bit full and had to squeeze him in. After work and during the weekends there were activities that I got up to. There was a time when I was attending swimming classes, videography course, and also busy writing a book and school magazine. I think being busy worked in my favour.

Men take women seriously who are kind of hard to get and seem to have life figured out. When he comes into the picture, still make time to go out with your friends, don’t make him believe that your happiness and life is only centered around him.

2. Don’t be a financial burden

Don’t be that lady who is too demanding, who already asks for money within the first month of dating. Who was providing for your needs before he came into the picture? Even if you know that you love money and the reason you are interested in him is mainly for his pocket, just don’t show it as yet.

Please don’t ask him for money because that is a total turn-off. It can make him run and never look back or play you because he thinks that you are just a gold digger.

Just because he has shown interest in you does not give you the right to make him your blesser, because if you treat him like your blesser he will treat you like his slut. He will never commit to a serious relationship with you.

If you want him to commit, you will have to be considerate, have realistic expectations, and also pay for some of your dates. Sometimes if you can see that so much money was wasted on takeouts, suggest that you cook so that he doesn’t have to waste money.

3. Have your own values and standards

If you want a man to take you seriously and make him commit to you, you need to have a set of values that you abide by. You can’t just go with the flow because the ocean is too wide, you need to be selfish.

Don’t let the relationship be solely on his terms, agree on terms that you can both be comfortable with. If he is not willing to compromise for you, see it as a blessing in disguise.

Don’t let him rush you into doing things that you are not ready for. If you are not ready to sleep with him, then don’t give in. When a man leaves because he can’t be in a relationship without sex, then it means that he was never going to be serious about you.

If you are not willing to have a child out of wedlock, then stick to it. Let him leave you for not wanting his child than for him to leave you after he has given you a child.

It is fine not to believe that a man should be given or borrowed money. If he gets angry because you don’t want to help him out, then so be it. If he leaves you because of it, let him go because he was only with you for the financial benefit. Know that you can never buy a man’s love.  

The reason why women end up dating married men is because they do not have a set of values that they are willing to abide by and this gives men the upper hand in relationships.

It is important to keep to your values, they will save you from a lot of heartache and people who only want to take advantage.

4. Never beg for his attention

Even if you know that you have burning love for him, you must still play the psychology game. Don’t make him think that you are interested in him more than he is interested in you. Choose to have an I don’t care mentality, though deep down you know that you need him. If you play this card right, he will be the one begging for attention.

If he promised to take you on a date or to come see you but he doesn’t pitch, act like you don’t care. Don’t even call him to ask where he is.

If you call him and he does not pick up, there is no need to leave 10 missed calls and texts. One missed call is enough.

If he doesn’t call you the entire week, don’t call him and ask why he hasn’t called, just let him be. If he thinks that you are not into him, it will give him the motivation to chase after you.

When he wants to see you, don’t always be available for him, sometimes act like you are too busy or you have other plans so that he can beg for your attention and commit to you

5. Subtle hint that he is not the only man after you

Don’t make a man think that he is the only man who wants you, because he will not commit to a relationship quickly enough. Sometimes just hint that your ex has been bothering you and you have even decided to block him. A product becomes more appealing when more people like it but they just can’t afford it. Let him think that that you have plenty of options, but you chose him

In the initial stages of our relationship with my husband, sometimes I would receive calls from other guys whilst with him. I was not intentionally trying to make him jealous but I think it sent a message that he was not the only guy who was interested in me, so he had to play his cards right.

6.   Don’t drop your male friends as yet

If you have male friends, don’t stop being friends with them because you are now in a new relationship. Their presence can really play a positive role in strengthening the relationship with your boyfriend.

Men really feel threatened by the presence of another man in their girlfriend’s life, they think that he will sleep with her. If he is into you he will be jealous of that relationship. But for you to give up the friendship, you also have to see that he is indeed committed to you.

7. Have a value proposition

Know why a man should choose you as his steady girlfriend and not just his side. What is it that offer which other women don’t? If what you offer is sex only, then a man can easily get it anywhere. You must make him feel like he will never find another person like you again.

I don’t want to brag but I know that there is no woman like me out there. When Im in a relationship, I raise the bar up high and when you leave me and date someone else, you will later realise that you can’t even benchmark. I don’t like domestic duties and neither am I clued up on the entertainment industry. But when it comes to managing finances, not being a burden, educated yet humble, and being a go-getter, then that is my space. I know if a man is with me, his life will flourish even further.

8. Be confident in yourself

Confidence makes a woman look attractive. Love yourself in your own skin. There are days where I look at myself and say I am pretty, any man would be so lucky to have me. I am not light in complexion, my body is not perfect, but I feel great about myself. If you don’t have self-love, how will someone else love you the way that you deserve to be loved?

Confidence is key. How many products have you bought which you were never going to buy but bought because the salesperson persuaded you to? When you look beautiful and confident you are selling yourself to your man.

9. Don’t be too controlling

Women are very controlling by nature, but don’t let this nature come out before he has fully committed to you. Don’t be insecure or that girlfriend that shouts at him when he hangs out the entire night with his friends. If you want to make him to commit to you, you have to give him the impression that you are a cool girlfriend. Only after you are sure that he is yours can you show concern.

10. Don’t do everything for him

One of the mistakes women do when in a relationship is to want to act like his helper. You can help him out on certain days but don’t assume total responsibility. Remember that you also have your life to focus on, you can’t sacrifice your life for him? If you give a man everything, he will not give you anything. There is no need to prove to him that you are wife material if he has not proved to you that he is husband material.

11. Appreciate his efforts

Don’t be quick to show your dissatisfaction. Even if he gives you a gift that is not your style still appreciate it. Appreciate his efforts and thoughtful gestures. Even if he takes you to a cheap restaurant, it is fine, that is what he can afford. Never make him feel inferior or that he will never be able to afford you

12. Be there for him

Be that caring girlfriend who listens to him when he wants to talk. Let him know that he can be vulnerable around you without fear of judgment or making him feel weak. Be that ear and shoulder to cry on, also provide wise counsel. Show interest even in the little aspects of his life, don’t let the relationship be just about you.