Sure signs he pretends to love you
Love is beautiful, but only when it is mutually shared. However, the world is full of pretenders who enter into relationships for financial or sexual gain and not because they are in love. Many have been played and left heartbroken. It is therefore crucial to know the signs he pretends to love you earlier on so you can safeguard your heart from another heartbreak. The following topics are discussed in this article:
Why would someone pretend to love you
Why do guys pretend to love you
How to test a guy to see if he really loves you
Signs he is forcing himself to love you
What to do when someone pretends to love you
Pretend to love meaning
According to Cambridge Dictionary to pretend means to behave as if something is true when you know it is not in order to deceive people. If someone pretends to love you it means they act or make you believe that they love you while they don’t. Most players use this strategy on their victims.
14 signs he pretends to love you
1. You feel obliged to buy his love
If you are in a relationship where you feel like you give him so much but you do not receive anything in return, it is one of the signs he pretends to love you. When he asks you for money, he does not give you an option to refuse because he gets angry and gives you the silent treatment. Or when he borrows your car and you refuse, it causes tension in the relationship.
You sometimes feel like you are his mom as he expects you to support him with his basic needs and wants. He expects you to give him money for petrol, buy him clothes, pay for dates and even pay for unexpected costs that may arise.
If you are in such a relationship think to yourself, if money can be removed from the equation, will he still feel the same about you?
2. He does not call or text you
When you are in a relationship with a boyfriend who hardly checks up on you, does not squeeze in time to call or text you, then it is a clear sign that he pretends to love you. If you feel like you constantly have to remind him to check up on you, it is also a sign he’s not into you. When a man loves you, he will chase after you and give you attention.
If you want to test if he loves you, stop initiating calls and see if he will notice that you have stopped calling or texting him. Wait for him to make the first move.
3. He does not return your calls
When you contact him and do not get hold of him, he will not bother to return your calls. You will be forced to call him again and when you ask him if he has seen your missed calls, he will come up with a lame excuse. Someone who loves you will atleast get back to your calls when they get a chance.
4. He does not miss you
You can go for days without seeing him or talking to him and yet he will not make means to meet up with you. When it seems like he does not miss you, it is a definite sign that he is pretending to love you.
5. He does not define the relationship
He has never really defined the relationship, you are just assuming that you are his girlfriend because you are sleeping with him or he texts you once in a while. Have you ever heard him say with his mouth that you are his woman? Or has he introduced you to his circle as his girlfriend? If it is not clear who you are in his life it is one of the signs he pretends to love you.
6. He does not care about your feelings
Even if you complain about what is lacking in the relationship or about how he makes you feel, he will not try to change or accommodate your feelings. He is not moved by your words and neither is he moved by your tears. In other words, he disregards your feelings.
7. You have caught him cheating and does not show remorse
Another sign that a man pretends to love you is when he cheats openly and does not care about you finding out. When you happen to find out, he will be defensive, instead of being apologetic. He asks you why you had to go through his phone, or he says you are disrespectful.
8. You are unhappy and still feel lonely
You are unhappy because the relationship seems to be one-sided. You constantly show him love but he does not seem to show you love. You spend most of the time crying. Although you have a boyfriend, you still feel lonely. You even hide the state of your relationship from your friends because they will tell you what you do not want to hear.
9. He is not available when you want him
He is never available for you, but you are always available for him. When you want to see him, he always makes excuses. You cannot even do unscheduled visits because you are not his main girl. Even if you can have an emergency, he might still not be there to support you.
When a man is mostly unavailable it can be a sign that he is married and he is using you.
10. He does not want to meet with you when you are on your periods
If he refuses to meet up with you when you are on your periods it is one of the many signs he pretends to love you. It means that he only wants to meet up with you if there is physical intimacy.
11. You are not priority to him
If it feels like his friends and family always take priority, he always has time for them but he never has time for you, then it is a clear sign that he does not love you he is just pretending. When a man really loves you, you will feel it, you will not feel like you are competing for his time.
12. Your relationship is a secret
If he does not want people to know that you are dating, then it is a definite sign he is pretending to love you, even if he can come up with a great excuse. He will not want his family, friends, and colleagues to know that you are his. He also does not want to meet up with your friends or family because he is just pretending to love you and they might see through him.
13. You don’t go out in public
If you don’t go out on dates, hold hands in public and only have to meet up at places where you can have s*x, then it is a sign that he is pretending to love you. A relationship must be a full package; you must do activities together, go places together and do fun things as a couple.
14. He does not talk about the future
He does not mention you when he talks about his future plans. He never says we or mention the thought of having kids with you. He also does not respond when you ask him about where the relationship is going; he just becomes grumpy and ignores your question or tells you not to rush things.
Why would someone pretend to love you
Someone would pretend to love you because they want to use you and they cannot be honest about their feelings for you because they stand to lose. He pretends to love you so he benefits financially, sexually, or even emotionally.
Why do guys pretend to love you
1. For financial benefits
If someone gains from you financially, like you pay their rent, give them money, etc they will pretend to love you because they want your resources.
2. For connections
Someone can pretend to love you so that you can connect them. If they know that you can connect them to a certain job, or certain people or access to markets they can pretend to love you.
3. To prove a point
Sometimes men can pretend to love you in order to prove a point to other guys or to themselves that they can get any girl.
4. To settle a score
You may find that a guy pursued you some time back and you rejected him, and now he has to pretend to love you in order to get back at you.
5. For social status or acceptance
Guys can pretend to love you in order to be accepted. There is a certain kind of woman that a guy can date in order to score points with his friends or family; but she is not his type. So such guys just pretend to love you
How to test a guy to see if he really loves you
1. Pretend to be pregnant
If you want to see if a guy really loves you, trick him into thinking that you are pregnant and observe his response. If he tells you that you should keep the baby he will marry you, then it is a sign he really loves you. If he tells you to do an abortion because he is not yet ready for a child, then he does not see a future with you. And if he disappears after the knowledge of your pregnancy, then he never loved you, he was pretending to love you.
2. Tell him you are on your periods
When he asks you to come over to his place, tell him that you are on your periods. And if he says that you can still come then it is a sign he really loves you. But if he says do not come anymore then it is a sign he is pretending to love you.
3. Pretend to be sick
If you tell him that you are sick does he come and offer you TLC or he will opt to see you once you are better? If he takes care of you when you are sick it is a sign he really loves you.
4. Deny him s*x
Another way to test if he really loves you is by refusing to sleep with him. If you refuse how does he react? If he respects your decision and continues to show you love after refusing then he really loves you but if he acts otherwise, he’s only pretending to love you.
5. Request something special from him
Ask him to do you a favour or get you something and see if he will deliver. If he delivers, then it is a sign he really loves you.
6. Ask him to come meet your parents
You can test if a guy really loves you by asking him to come and meet your family. If he easily agrees then it is a sign that he really loves you.
7. Ask to meet his family
Another way you can test if he really loves you is by asking if he can introduce you to his family. If he is comfortable with the idea then it is a sign he really loves you.
True signs he loves you
1. You have met his friends and family
One of the true signs he loves you is when you have met his friends and family and he has introduced you as his person to them.
2. He talks about you in his future
If he mentions you in his future, he talks about marriage, staying in a house together, driving cars and carrying his babies, then it is a true sign he loves you.
3. He spends much time with you
If he always wants to spend most of his time with you, asks you to move in with him or asks you to marry him, then it is a sign he loves you.
4. He makes compromises for you
If you ask him to do something that is out of his comfort zone and he compromises and does it because he wants to please you, then it is a true sign he really loves you.
5. He treats you with respect
If he respects you, respects your views and respects your body, then it is a true sign he really loves you.
6. He keeps his promises
When he promises to do something and he does it, and you don’t have to make endless follow-ups with him or nag him, it is a sign that he loves you.
7. You plan and buy together
If you plan together, do things together and purchase significant items together, it can be a sign he loves you. For example, you have savings goals so that you can get your dream home or that wedding.
Signs he is forcing himself to love you
1. He is always angry and moody around you
One of the signs he is forcing himself to love you is when he is constantly serious and grumpy around you. When he is with his friends and family members he seems so happy and bubbly, but when he is with you he is a different person.
2. He is always complaining
Another sign that he is forcing himself to love you is when he is always complaining about you. Nothing that you do is ever good enough for him. He has a problem with the way you talk, the way you dress, your weight, etc.
3. You constantly have to beg for his attention
If you constantly have to beg for his attention or for him to notice you, it can be a sign he is pretending to love you. He does not call you, text you and neither does he visit you. He does not love you the way that you want to be loved no matter how many times you complain.
4. He suggest a break
There are times when he suggests that it would be best if you took a break from the relationship, maybe it can help you work on yourself or your insecurities. This is just clear evidence that he does not want to be with you but he is just being polite.
5. He tells that you that he is not ready for a serious relationship
If you ask him about the future of the relationship or when he plans to formalise it, he will tell you that he is not yet ready, and you can also leave him if you want.
Signs he never loved you
1. He has never told you that he loves you
If he has never told you that he loves you, then it is a clear sign he never loved you.
2. He does not try to get you back when you break up with him
If he does not make any effort to win you back after you have broken up with him, then it is a sign that he never loved you. If he loved you he would not want to lose you
3. He physically, emotionally or financially abused you
If he was abusing you in any form, it is a sign he never loved you. Someone who loves you will not want to see you hurt. Beware of being in a relationship where you are constantly unhappy because someone who loves you will want to see you happy.
4. He hides you from the public
If he never wants to be seen in public with you, you always have to meet behind closed doors then it is a sign that he never loved you. If a man loves you, he will be proud to be seen with you.
5. He does not talk about the future with you
If you don’t feature in his conversations when he talks about the future, like if we make more money we can move into another house, all his conversations are just I and no we, then it is a sign he never loved you. Also if you ask him when he plans to marry you, he will never give you a straight answer.
6. He expects you to support him, but he does not support you
If a man wants you to be his cleaner or expects you to carry him financially but he never really shows you true love, then he does not love you, he is just using you because he gains money and services from you.
7. He talks about other girls or he is also in a relationship with them
If he can freely talk about other girls, or flirt with them in front of you or even bring them over or visits them, it is a sign he never loved you. Such a person is a jerk who does not respect you and will never respect you.
What to do when someone pretends to love you
If you notice that someone is pretending to love you, just leave the relationship because you can never force someone to love you. Maybe if you give them space they might love you for real.
