15 Warning Signs A Man Is Using You For Money
You’ve been in a relationship and you are not entirely happy because you always have to give him money. It makes you wonder if he really loves you or it is signs a man is using you for money.
Many women have been victims of men who used them for money, only for the guy to leave after he’s been enriched.
However, there are also women who have supported men who were struggling financially, and they are now reaping the rewards because these men now have more money.
A man who has intentions to use you might not show his true colors on the first day. He will start off by being a gentleman, romantic and he ticks off all the boxes of being Mr. Right.
On the first date, he will pay for everything and even give you the best experience ever.
He will even offer to pay for some of your household bills. He will then even give you full access to his bank card. This action will make to completely trust his intentions for you, and you will open up about your finances.
Then days later he will start asking for financial favors from you and promise to pay you back soon.
Men can also be gold diggers and Women’s weekly mentions interesting traits of a male gold digger.
Table of Contents
Signs a man is using you for money
1. He moves in with you
The relationship has moved too fast. In just a few months he has already packed his bags and moved in with you.
The decision to stay together didn’t happen overnight, but it was gradual. It started off with him staying over for the night, then it was the weekend, then he would leave for work from your place.
It made perfect sense to let him move in since you were always together and your apartment is bigger than his since he was just sharing with someone.
You even thought that staying with him meant that you would save on rent, or on your home loan and other living expenses since you would split the bills.
But since he moved in, your bills have only gone up because he does not contribute much, all he does is constantly ask you for financial favors.
If this describes the guy you are with, it is part of the signs a man is using you for money.
If the relationship is moving too fast it can be one of the relationship red flags.
2. He keeps borrowing money from you
Ever since he came into your life, money has been going out of your account. You can’t even draft a budget anymore because he can ask for money from you at any time.
He will ask you for petrol money and even money for entertainment. When his family members ask him for money, he will ask for it from you.
Every financial crisis that he has, has a direct impact on you.
Even if his baby mama needs money from him for his child, he asks for it from you.
He even has the decency to ask you to buy him airtime or get him data.
And when the promised repayment date arrives, he acts as if he has forgotten or the money was a gift and not a loan. And when you remind him about it, he gets so angry and you end up feeling guilty.
Being with someone who always wants money from you can be signs of an unhealthy relationship not to be ignored.
3. He wants you to take out loans for him
A clear sign a man is using you for money is when he has asked you to take out a loan on his behalf.
He might not qualify for a certain car, but he knows that with your salary he will qualify. He promises you that he will make the monthly repayments, but he is inconsistent and since you do not want to be blacklisted, you end up paying the entire amount.
Or he asks you to take out a contract, open an account or even lease a place for him since he is blacklisted and will pay you directly. But he rarely ever pays you back.
Dear fellow women, please never fall for this scam no matter how much you love someone. If someone is already blacklisted, it means he is not a good payer. If he failed to pay an institution what makes you think he will be faithful in paying you?
And if someone does not qualify for an item it means they cannot afford it and should therefore not have the item, since it is above his means.
4. He wants you to fund his ventures
Signs a man is using you for money is when he wants you to fund his aspirations. He will tell you of a business idea that he wants you to fund. And if he was using his own money, he would not fund it because he would not want to run the risk of losing the money.
If financial institutions do proper assessments before funding ideas, why would you risk your hard-earned money on funding something that has a 90% chance of failing?
5. He comes up with great stories as to why he needs the money
When a man is using you for money, he will use all the stories in the book to get money from you. He will tell you that he needs money to buy stock or money to be able to render a service and you will get it back after the client has paid.
He might also tell you that his client has not paid him, so he is short and needs money to pay for the bills.
Or he tells you that there is a great investment opportunity that has a huge payout. Or there is a course that he can study that is guaranteed to get him a job.
These gold diggers will use clever ways to extract money out of you, so you need to be very careful.
6. He is unemployed or not driven in life
He is too picky with the kind of jobs he wants. He is not willing to go through the process or work for little money. He only wants to work if a job can pay him a certain amount of money.
If your man wants money from you or nice things from you but he is not willing to work for it, it is signs of a man who is using you for money.
Beware of a man who is too lazy, who has no ambitions of advancing himself so he can get a better paying job. Or who does not want to sell on the streets because selling is not fancy.
He does not mind sitting around the house all day doing nothing. He is not even sending through his application or going door to door knocking for opportunities. It is like he is not trying hard enough to win in life, you are his major source of income.
You also want to check out these traits that a man is husband material.
7. He borrows your assets
If you are driving a better car than his, he will always want to use your car. And when you refuse, or when you want to use it, it becomes an issue.
And if he does not have a car, he might opt to drop you off at work so he can be using the car during the day while he is also using your petrol.
He will even borrows your gadgets or any unisex thing that can benefit him.
And he won’t even pay for the right to use although it is him who uses it 80% of the time.
And when the asset gets damaged guess who has to pay the bill? You’ll be responsible for all the repairs because your guy is always broke.
8. He loves expensive and flashy things
Signs a man is using you for money is when he wants to live a flashy life at your expense. He wants expensive perfume, wears expensive clothing brands, wants expensive watches, latest gadgets, and even orders expensive food.
You have opened up multiple accounts for him because you want to make him happy. But is he making you happy when he is causing you to sink into debt?
Signs a man is using a woman for money
When a man is using a woman for money, he will also do or say these among other things:
9. He does not show you off in public
If he posts the flashy things that he has bought with your money but he does not post you on his social media, it is a sign he does not love you but just using you.
Also, if he refuses when you want to go with him to his friends or family or attend events with him, it is a sign he’s not into you, he is just using you for money.
When a guy behaves this way, he is living a double life and does not want his family or main girlfriend to know how he makes his money.
10. He borrows money from other people and you bail him out
He owes money to a lot of people. He has borrowed money from banks, loan sharks, colleagues, friends. And when the money is due and they are threatening him, he expects you to bail him out, even though he did not tell you when he was taking out the loan.
11. Your loved ones are concerned about the relationship
Your friends and family have told you that the guy does not love you, he is only after your money. But you choose to listen to him instead of them.
People who are not in the relationship see from a clearer lens. They see all the signs that you can’t see because your decisions are based on love and not sense. When you are too much in love it is easy to be manipulated and that is why your boyfriend will use the gaslighting tactics on you.
12. He uses emotional blackmail
When he asks you for a financial favor and you give him valid reasons why you cannot do it, he uses emotional blackmail. He has mastered the art of manipulation to get you to do what he wants.
He even knows the words to use which will make you feel guilty for not wanting to help him. And he even knows how to ignore you so he can get you to do what he wants.
Read more: How to deal with being ignored by someone you love
13. He does not show you love
You don’t feel like he loves you the way you want to be loved. You sometimes feel lonely, although you are in a relationship.
It feels like you have to buy his love because when you are not giving him money, he does not show you the acts of love.
His love seems to be conditional. He will be sweet when he still wants your help, but after he’s received the money, he no longer gives you attention.
When you ask him to do something for you, he disappoints you. But when he wants a financial favor from you, he expects you to action it right away.
He also does not care about the financial burden and stress he is putting you through, he only cares about his needs being met.
Read these benefits of being with a partner who loves you more.
14. You know he is unfaithful to you
You caught him cheating on you, maybe more than once or you have seen signs he’s cheating.
The reason he chooses to stay with you while he is not stopping his shenanigans is that he is benefiting financially from you and not because he loves you.
15. You don’t like the arrangement but scared to lose his love
Your gut feel tells you that this is not how love should be, he is just using you for money. But you block the thoughts because you love him and you are scared of being single.
Read more: 18 clear signs you should breakup now
What to do when a guy is using you
So you have just confirmed through these signs that the man you love is just using you for money, and it does not seem like he will change his ways anytime soon.
You feel like you have been giving, but you haven’t received much. A relationship should move you forward and not set you back. If you feel like your life has not progressed, it means that you are not with the right partner and you have to take immediate action.
Ask yourself these questions and follow these steps if you want to break this toxic pattern.
1. What were your expectations when entering into a relationship?
- What is your ideal relationship?
- What were your expectations from a man?
- Did you think you were going to be a blesser/ financial sponsor?
- Were you expecting to buy a man’s love?
- Did you think an adult who is not your child or family would be financially dependent on you?
2. Would he stick around if there was no money?
Ask yourself if he would have dated you if you were not financially capable or if there were no financial benefits?
3. What advice would you give to someone in your shoes?
If you had a child or a friend who was in your shoes, would you advise her to continue with the relationship or would you tell her to end things?
4. Can your expectations still be met?
At the rate at which things are going, do you think your current partner will give you want? Is this the life you want to live for years to come?
5. Choose you
You should choose yourself, you can’t always prioritize other people’s happiness. You might be scared to break his heart, but remember that he has also been selfish with his demands. The relationship has never been about you, but him.
6. Have the talk with him
Ask him what he loves about you
Ask him what is it that he loves about you. He might brush you off, tell you that he loves your generosity, or mention other qualities.
Ask him where the relationship is going
Ask him what his intentions for the relationship are. This will help you assess if he sees a future with you and if he has dreams of being independent.
Tell him what your expectations are
Tell him what your expectations are for the relationship and if he thinks he will be able to meet them. Tell him how you have been feeling about your arrangement.
Break up with him
If he is not giving you the assurance that things will change going forward, and giving you a realistic timeframe, tell him that you want a break.
And then follow these tips on how to move on from someone you love.
FAQ
How do you know if a man is using you for money?
When a man is using you for money he will keep asking you for financial favors. He will borrow money and not repay it. If you refuse to give him, he manipulates you.
He will also want you to take out loans for him. He will not care about your needs, as long as his financial needs are being serviced.
How do you know if someone is using you for money?
When someone is using you for money, they will keep asking for financial favors. They won’t care about your wellbeing or about your happiness, what matters to them is when you give them money.
If you stop giving them money, they also stop talking to you.
What does it mean when a man asks you for money?
It means he cannot manage his finances or he is living above his means.
Or if you have known him for a while and it is unlike him to ask for money, it means he genuinely needs it, and it is not because he is trying to take advantage of you financially.
If it becomes a trend that he always asks you for money, it means he is just using you for money.
What do you call a man who uses a woman for her money?
A man who uses a woman for her money is called a gold digger or a gigolo.
How to tell if a man loves you or is using you
When a man loves you, he will be available for you when you need him. But if he’s just using you, he will be available for you conditionally.
He will only want to meet up with you if he wants intimacy or he will only show you love if there is financial gain.
When he is using you, he will not want to discuss the future, and neither will he introduce you to his loved ones.
