15 Missable Signs A Guy Is Pretending To Be Straight

Xiren April 28, 2022 no Comments

What are the signs a guy is pretending to be straight? Sometimes it can be easy to tell while most times, the signs a guy or your boyfriend, or your husband is gay, can be subtle.

I think many of us have seen that man who dated women, probably even got married and had kids, but eventually divorced because he decided to come out of the closet. But many other people besides his partner and family already saw some signs that this was a closeted gay, pretending to be straight for fear of prejudice, societal pressures, religion, or fear to disappoint the family.

However, there are also those men who have masculine energy, but you are shocked when you later discover that they are gay.

Gone are those days when you generalize that someone is gay by how they dress, effeminacy, etc.

According to an article in Statista, 4.9% of the respondents in the US said that they identified as LGBT. This means that 1 in 20 men are part of the LGBT and some might still be in the closet. So this means that there is a high chance that your lover or crush might be gay, bisexual, or even transgender.

Please don’t read these signs and conclude that the guy you know is gay. People are different, there is no one size fits all. So the most accurate way to know if he is gay is when he admits it to you.

Signs a guy is pretending to be straight
Signs a guy is pretending to love you
Signs your husband is in the closet

How to tell if your boyfriend is in the closet
Down low warning signs

Signs a guy is pretending to be straight

1. Body type and motion

Sometimes (not all the time) you can judge a guy’s sexual orientation by his body type.

An article in Science Daily states that observers use gait and body shape to judge whether a stranger is gay or straight.

Johnson and colleagues at New York University and Texas A&M measured the hips, waists, and shoulders of male and female volunteers, half of whom were gay and half straight.

Based on these measurements, the researchers determined that the gay subjects tended to have more gender-incongruent body types than their straight counterparts (hourglass figures for men, tubular bodies for women) and body motions (hip-swaying for men, shoulder-swaggering for women) than their straight counterparts.

In addition, 112 undergraduate observers were shown videos of the backsides of the volunteers as they walked at various speeds on the treadmill. The observers were able to determine the volunteers’ sexual orientation, even though they could not see the volunteers’ faces or the details of their clothing.

Also, a 1999 Harvard study, found that just by looking at the photographs of seated strangers, college undergraduates were able to judge sexual orientation accurately 55 percent of the time.

2. Tone of voice

Have you listened to a guy talking, whether on radio, TV, talking to you, or interacting with someone else and you just conclude that they sound gay?

According to an article in the National Library of Medicine, the study shows that homosexual men display significantly higher pitch modulation patterns and less breathy voices compared to heterosexual men.

But please note, this sign alone is not foolproof that a high-pitched voice in a guy means he is gay.

3. He is not interested in females

One of the signs a guy is pretending to be straight is when he is not really interested in having any romantic relationships with women. With most men, even if he can say that he is single, or not in a committed relationship, he might still be hooking up with women.

So a guy who is pretending to be straight might have platonic friendships with many women, but even when these women try to throw themselves at him, he is not turned on. And he has never even tried to make a move on any of them.

And no one even knows or remembers the last time he was involved in a romantic relationship with a woman.

4. Most of his friends are females

Most straight guys have more male friends than they have platonic female friends, but a homosexual guy might have more female friends. A straight guy would not prefer to keep a large circle of female friends unless he is sleeping with most of them. But a homosexual guy will create genuine friendships with people of the opposite sex.

5. He is friends with people who appear to be in the closet or gay

An average guy is not comfortable with befriending someone who is not straight. But if a man appears to be too comfortable and has solid friendships with guys who identify themselves as part of LGBT, it can be a sign a guy is pretending to be straight.

But please note he might just be friends because he is an activist for the LGBT or he easily gets along with everyone.

6. He is secretive about his relationships

Another sign of a guy pretending to be straight is if he is too private about his personal life. It is hard to tell with him if he is into males or females. He never mentions any of his past or current relationships. You never know if he is into men, women, or both.

7. The guy uses non-gender specific words when speaking of his personal life

When he speaks about his personal life or about his relationships, you never know if he is referring to a male or female because he uses pronouns like my partner, they, them, us, we, my friend, my crush, this person, etc, so it is hard to conclude if he is referring to a man or woman.

8. He uses queer dating apps

If on his phone he has dating apps like Grindr, Scruff, Jack’d, and Growlr, then it is a sign he is interested in people of the same gender or he is bisexual.

9. Several people have told you so

If several people have told you that he is not straight based on their observation, or they have seen him being cozy with a guy, or he made a move on a guy, then there might be a probability that the guy is just pretending to be straight.

10. He is not interested in being intimate with you

If you are in a relationship with him, but he refuses to be intimate with you or he tells you that he prefers to wait until marriage, it can be a sign that he is pretending to be straight, or he is really committed to being celibate.

11. He’s admitted to hooking up with a guy

If a guy has already admitted to hooking up with a man, what other evidence do you want? It does not matter if the hookup was due to him being drunk or high, he is clearly not straight.

12. He is homophobic

SOMETIMES when a guy is homophobic and even gets angry when confronted by someone who is gay, it can be one of the signs a guy is pretending to be straight.

An article in Southern American suggests a study finding those individuals who are most hostile toward gays and hold strong anti-gay views may themselves have same-sex desires, albeit undercover ones.

13. He makes sexist jokes

Sometimes when a man likes to make sexist jokes, he might be doing it because he has sexual insecurities.

According to an article in the Independent, men who make sexist jokes are probably just insecure about their masculinity. Science has proven that men who use sexist and anti-gay humor do so to reaffirm their own sense of self, particularly when they feel their masculinity is being threatened.

14. He does not engage in conversations about homosexuality

He is uncomfortable when conversations are being held about homosexuality. And he does not laugh at any of the jokes or refrains from commenting, which can be a sign that he is still in the closet or maybe someone close to him is gay. If he was proudly gay he would be open about his feelings and views.

15. He overcompensate as a way not to be discovered

Someone who is pretending to be straight will overcompensate to prove his masculinity. He will try too hard to look manly or even sound manly. A guy who is faking it might say or use certain words to prove he is straight.

He might even sleep around with a lot of women as a way to prove to himself and people around him that he is straight.

Signs a guy is pretending to love you

1. You feel obliged to buy his love

If you are in a relationship where you feel like you give him so much but you do not receive anything in return, it is one of the signs a guy is pretending to love you.

2. He does not call or text you

When you are in a relationship with a boyfriend who hardly checks up on you, and does not squeeze in time to call or text you, then it is a clear sign he is pretending to love you.

3. He does not miss you

You can go for days without seeing him or talking to him and yet he will not make means to meet up with you.

4. He does not define the relationship

He has never really defined the relationship, you are just assuming that you are his girlfriend because you are sleeping with him or he texts you once in a while.

Have you ever heard him say that you are his woman? Or has he introduced you to his circle as his girlfriend? If it is not clear who you are in his life it is one of the signs he is pretending to love you.

5. He does not care about your feelings

Even if you complain about what is lacking in the relationship or about how he makes you feel, he will not try to change or accommodate your feelings. He is not moved by your words and neither is he moved by your tears. In other words, he disregards your feelings.

6. You are unhappy and still feel lonely

If you are unhappy because the relationship seems to be one-sided, he does not show you love, you spend most of the time crying then it’s signs he does not love you.

7. You are not priority to him

If it feels like his friends and family always take priority, he always has time for them but he never has time for you, then it is a clear sign that he does not love you he is just pretending. When a man really loves you, you will feel it, you will not feel like you are competing for his time.

8. Your relationship is a secret

If he does not want people to know that you are dating, then it is a definite sign a guy is pretending to love you. He will not want his family, friends, and colleagues to know that you are his. He also does not want to meet up with your friends or family because he is just pretending to love you and they might see through him.

9. He does not talk about the future

When a guy does not mention you when talking about his future plans, does not respond when you ask him where the relationship is going; it is a sign he’s pretending to love you.

Signs your husband is in the closet

1. He does not enjoy being intimate with you

If a man is comfortable going for months without being intimate with you, or you are always the first one to initiate intimacy, it can be a sign he is cheating, too addicted to adult sites or there are other underlying issues. But if you know that he is not cheating, stressed, or doing other things, it can be a sign your husband is in the closet.

2. You’ve found queer dating apps on his phone

If you have found queer dating apps like Grindr on his phone, it can be a sign your husband is in the closet.

3. People have been suspicious of his sexuality

If you have overhead people mentioning that your husband appears not to be straight, it is a sign he might still be in the closet.

4. His browsing history

If his browsing history shows that he frequently goes onto gay adult sites, it is a sign your husband is in the closet.

5. His sexual preferences

If he wants to make use of toys and prefers to have them on his back, it can be a sign of a man in the closet.

6. He flirts with men

If it seems like your husband normally eyes men, and sends flirty texts to men, it can be a sign he’s into men.

7. It was an arranged marriage

If your man never wanted to get married, but his parents or church had to arrange a wife for him, it is a sign he’s not really into women.

8. He is too homophobic

If your husband has too much hatred towards gay men, it can be a sign that he is still in the closet because people get triggered when they see someone with traits they dislike about themselves.

How to tell if your boyfriend is in the closet

1. He doesn’t show any sexual interest in you

If your boyfriend refuses to be intimate with you or he tells you that he prefers to wait until marriage, it can be a sign your boyfriend is in the closet, or he really does not want to commit any sexual sin.

2. Most of his friends are females

Most straight guys have more male friends than they have platonic female friends, but a homosexual guy will have more female friends.

3. He is friends with people who appear to be in the closet or gay

An average guy is not comfortable with befriending someone who is not straight. But if a man appears to be too comfortable and have solid friendships with guys who identify themselves as part of LGBT, it can be a sign a guy is pretending to be straight.