Looking back to the years when I was still dating, there were times when I was too in love and lost my ability to think straight. Though I was book smart, I made a couple of mistakes when I was in relationships. As women, we give so much in the name of love.

1. You support him financially

The common mistake that women who are financially stable make when in love is to become a provider. Many women are buying love so that they do not have to be alone. They receive companionship but in return, they pay back by providing all his financial needs.

Some pay for their boyfriend’s car, his clothing accounts, petrol, give him an allowance, and he even moves into her apartment so that he won’t have to spend a cent. Some women even invest in non-existent businesses, all in the name of love.

Many women have fallen victim to men who are gold diggers but could not spot the signs earlier because these men treat them like royalty. These men satisfy them sexually, they are even romantic and domesticated.

There is a thin line between being a supportive girlfriend and being used. It is very important to assess the intentions of your partner, especially if it is a partner that you met when you are now successful or have money. After all, you are not his parent or the bank, let him hustle for the nice things that he wants.

2. You hire yourself as his maid

Another mistake that women make when in a relationship is to act like his maid. You want to spring clean his apartment, do his laundry, wash his dishes and cook for him so that you can look like you are wife material.

You haven’t agreed on the payment terms yet you choose to burden yourself with responsibilities. How was he doing all those tasks before you were in his life? You are disadvantaging other women from finding domestic jobs.

And if he is getting all these things for free why should he rush to marry you? And if you get married you will later complain about his laziness yet you are the one who set the standard that you do everything for him.

3. Stop living your life

When women are in relationships, they ultimately stop living their lives and live only for the guy. All the decisions that they make revolve around him. They can’t even take an opportunity that is in a different province or state because they are scared to lose the relationship or that he will move on if it becomes a long-distance relationship

However, men think of money first before they think of love. So they would not hesitate to make a decision that would benefit them at the expense of a relationship with a woman.

4. Cut off friends and family

Another mistake that women make is to cut ties with their friends and family members when they are in a relationship. A boyfriend takes priority and a woman does not hesitate to cut off anyone who does not support the relationship. However, men keep all their friends whether they support the relationship or not.

Read more: Relationship

5. Give him kids before marriage

Another mistake that ladies make in relationships is to give a boyfriend kids before he has asked for their hand in marriage. By so doing, women are increasing their chances of being single moms, because having his child will not stop him from marrying someone else. It is important to use contraceptives until you are sure that you want a child and that you will manage even if he is not part of the child’s life.

Never use a child to strengthen a relationship, because kids have the potential to make a bad relationship worse. Have kids because you are ready, because kids ultimately become a woman’s responsibility.

Read more: Marriage misconceptions

6. You love him more than he loves you

Another mistake that women make when in a relationship is to fall too deep in love. They are more in love with men who cause them pain and hate the ones who are too loving. When a man knows that you are nothing without him, he will always take advantage of your love. When he knows that you love him, and can’t afford to lose him, he will make you experience hell on earth. A relationship is meant to be enjoyed by both parties and not only one.

Read more: Why a woman must not fall in love

7. Women believe men’s lies

Men are such great liars and many women fall for their lies. A man can lie about his marital status and when you find out the truth he will tell you another sweet lie, but he will never break up with you. When you find evidence of his cheating he can still twist the story. Some even lie about what they do for a living or how much money they have.

It takes a woman who is beyond book smart to know the kind of man that she is in a relationship with because most men are not honest.

Read more: Do all men cheat?

8. Settling for qualities you don’t like

Women make the mistake of settling with men who have qualities that they don’t like with the hope that he will change. When you observe qualities that are a turnoff, it is either you tolerate them or exit the relationship because you can’t change a person. If you don’t want someone who drinks or smokes, then stay away from such a person.

9. You don’t have crucial conversations

Sometimes the mistake that women make when in a relationship is that they do not want to have discussions that really matter because they don’t want to push the guy away. When you are still young, you can be in a five-year relationship without discussing marriage. But when you are at a certain age it is important to have estimated timelines because you don’t want to waste your vital years with someone who is not serious about you.

Read more: How to get a marriage proposal from your partner

10. More scared of pregnancy than STIs

A grave mistake that women make is trusting a man with their health. Many people sleep together without testing for STI’s and most couples stop using condoms after a few months. Unplanned pregnancy is the only thing that scares women and not STI’s. What we forget as women is that we don’t know the status of the women that our boyfriends have slept with or are currently sleeping with.