The reason why marriage is hard is that it is work and work is not always nice. Marriage has so many qualities of a job. Some marriages last long, which is similar to employees who have been with the same organization for so many years while other people stay only for a short while.
Relationships similar to employment will have good days and bad days but you can’t afford to quit your job whenever your employer does not meet your expectations. People stay in unhappy relationships, just as much as people stay with an employer who does not treat them fairly. Others don’t appreciate what they have and leave good relationships, just like an employee leaves a good job.
1. You have a boss
Similar to a job, in marriage, you cannot just do as you please, you always have to report to someone. There are certain decisions that you cannot make without informing your partner or getting their approval.
When you are married, you can’t behave as if you are still single, you need to account to your spouse. If you expect to be late or not to come back home, you have to inform your spouse just like you’d inform your boss if you are running late or not coming to work.
Having a partner or a boss is not all bad because you get to exchange ideas and they also keep you in check. And because you have a boss, you are more disciplined.
2. You are expected to work daily
As much as an employer expects you to work all the time, a relationship also requires a daily commitment. A relationship cannot thrive on yesterday’s love or glory. Buying an expensive gift for your spouse does not exempt you from showing love and respect in all other areas because all your past good deeds can easily be erased by one wrong move.
If I had cooked food for my husband last week, but I don’t cook this week, last week’s effort becomes irrelevant. In a relationship, one should aim to put in the required weight so that your partner can feel loved.
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3. The benefits are not enough
At work, you normally feel underpaid for the amount of work that you are expected to do. Marriage also feels the same, what you put into it is not what you get out of it. You feel like there is still more that your partner can do to show that they appreciate your contribution.
There were times where I felt like I do so much, yet my partner does not recognize or appreciate any of my efforts. Instead, he will be quick to point out the things that I have done wrong. However, I have also realised that I don’t appreciate him enough, I am also quick to complain about things that he did not deliver on. Even bosses they still feel that the employees can still do more.
4. You have to maintain confidentiality
You cannot discuss certain aspects of your marriage or relationship with certain people because it might cause more harm than good. Even work, you are not allowed to discuss your salary with your fellow colleagues as it can cause grievances.
There are certain things that you cannot share with people about your partner. If you share your problems, they will also share your problems with their own friends. Imagine finding out that everyone knows your secret, you will feel very naked and embarrassed.
However if you have issues in your marriage, don’t keep it to yourself. Seek advise from someone who is wise and unbiased.
5. You have to support your leader’s vision
Employers expect the employees to support the company’s vision, even though the employees were not involved in formulating it. Sometimes your partner will make decisions which you are not in support of, but you will have to support and run with it. Some decisions will even be contrary to your beliefs, but you can’t really report your spouse to the authorities.
When my husband wanted to resign from his job and pursue other opportunities I did not feel comfortable with it, but it is my duty to support and help him realise his goals.
6. It is monotonous
Similar to a job, the routine in marriage becomes uninteresting. You no longer do the things you used to do when you were dating and with kids involved, it is even worse. No matter how interesting a job can be, it eventually becomes repetitive, boring and it has certain tasks you wish you didn’t have to perform.
You will not like everything about your partner, certain habits will irritate you, but you have to continue loving them still. You will need to embrace the entire package because no one is perfect and you are not perfect either.
7. Mondays are the worst
Most people don’t look forward to Mondays but they still have to get up and go to work even when they don’t feel like it. Marriage is similar, you have to serve and be with each other even when you feel tired.
There will be times when you are extremely tired, but you will still be expected to support each other and also serve the other party in bed when they are hungry.
8. Employees are not loyal
Being married does not guarantee that your partner will be loyal to you. Employees are not loyal and they still apply for other jobs without their bosses’ knowledge. Your partner might still pursue other people whilst with you or even decide to leave you or you decide to leave them.
Your spouse can still be in physical contact with their exes, which is what employees also do, they sometimes communicate with colleagues or bosses from their past employment. There is always risk but you cannot live in fear.
9. You need to abide by the rules
There is a certain way you are expected to conduct yourself when you are at the workplace. There are certain things that you cannot do or say no matter angry you can be. Even in a relationship, there are words that you cannot utter no matter how heated the argument can be.
You also cannot beat up your partner, although you feel that they deserved to be punished. Never tell your partner that they are useless or you shouldn’t have married them or compare them to someone, or talk bad about their family because words cannot be erased.
10. You manage conflict
When you are in a relationship, conflict is inevitable, but you do not have to leave your home because of it. Imagine if you left your job everytime you encountered conflict with your colleagues or boss. If you leave or run away, you giving your partner reasons to find your replacement.
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Conclusion
Relationships are mutually beneficial, both parties must benefit. If you are in a relationship where you are constantly receiving but you are not giving, then you need to evaluate if your partner’s needs are being serviced. Find out if your partner is happy with you and which areas they would like you to work on.
