Wondering how to stop thinking about someone you love deeply? We have all been there and it is not easy, but it can be achieved.
These tips are helpful, whether you have been through a breakup or divorce (when no kids are involved), or it is someone you have a crush on, or you caught feelings in a casual relationship or you are in love with someone who is unavailable or married.
To completely stop thinking about someone you loved deeply, can take months to even years. But what makes the process easier, is when you allow yourself to start over on a clean slate.
Yearning for the attention of someone you love deeply is similar to having a craving for a certain dish. Even if you can eat the most delicious meal, you still won’t be satisfied, until you have eaten that particular dish you were craving.
So it makes sense why it is difficult for you to easily forget about that special person, although there is plenty of fish in the sea.
And sometimes the more you try to forget that person, will be the more you think about them.
If you hold on to someone who is unavailable or is not interested in you, you will not even notice when a gem is right under your nose.
Table of Contents
- How to stop thinking about someone you love deeply?
- How to stop thinking about someone you have a crush on?
- FAQ
How to stop thinking about someone you love deeply?
1. Accept that you can’t be in a relationship with them
If the person that you are constantly thinking about is your ex, you will have to accept that the relationship is OVER. Although you might convince yourself that you made such a great couple, it is probably for the best that the relationship has ended. If the relationship was that perfect, you would not have broken up.
And if you want to stop thinking about a crush that won’t reciprocate or if you are in love with someone who is unavailable or maybe they are already married, just accept that they can never be yours, no matter how much you hope and pray.
2. Cut all contact
You obviously care about this special someone and you wish to hear their voice, see them or even chat with them, but DON’T. You will have to stop contacting them if you want to forget about them.
Sometimes they might reach out to you first, and if you entertain them, it will give you hope again about the prospects of a relationship. And if you are not careful, you might be that person that they use when they are bored or not on good terms with their partner.
So to avoid always going in circles, you will have to stop entertaining them or tell them to stop contacting you, or just block them.
I know this is easier said than done. But after several months of not being in contact with them, you will be feeding your thoughts with new things and new people. And you will gradually stop thinking about that someone you love deeply.
3. Delete their phone numbers
If you want to forget about someone you love, you will have to delete their numbers so that you are not tempted to call them.
There are certain phone numbers I thought I was never going to forget, but I have completely forgotten them because I deleted them and did not dial them in years.
4. Avoid that person
When you love someone, you will know where they stay or they normally hang out. But if you want to successfully forget them, you will have to stop going to those places where there is a high chance of coming across them. Because if you see them before you have completely moved on, your feelings for them will be revived. So just rather keep your distance.
5. Don’t stalk them
I know this one is hard because if you love someone you will want to know what they get up to. You will also want to know if they are in a new relationship or if they are sulking just like you.
But you will have to unfollow them on social media so that you do not see what they get up to.
I remember I had unfollowed an ex, but I would ask mutual friends to check for me, which is NO NO when you are trying to stop thinking about someone you love deeply.
Also please avoid stalking their new partner; it is really not worth it. If resisting the urge to stalk your ex proves difficult, you might have to be off social media for some time.
6. Remove EVERYTHING that reminds you of them
This step is HARD. It will not be easy to delete some of those text messages or the images, or even to get rid of that souvenir they got for you, but it has to be done.
When you hold on to those things, you are still hoping that one day you will be together, but all you are doing is to delay yourself from completely moving on.
I remember a specific breakup I went through, my brother deleted my images with the guy from my laptop without my consent. And as much as I was angry with him, the exercise was necessary so that I do not fixate on the past.
And remember that images are constant, so they only capture the good times and not the bad times.
If you were saving their images on social media, you will have to remove all of them or ask a friend to do it for you.
7. Don’t be friends as yet
You might tell yourself that you want to be friends with them because you don’t hate them or there are no bad vibes between the two of you.
But until you are sure that you have completely moved on, it is never a good idea to be friends with your ex or your crush.
As much as it will seem like you are being harsh if you refuse to be friends, you are doing it for yourself and not for them. They do not understand how deep your love is for them.
8. Don’t ask your friends/ colleagues about them
Sometimes you will be tempted to ask friends about your ex or crush, but please refrain from doing so. This will only delay you from moving on.
9. Write what you want from a relationship
If you want to stop thinking about someone you love deeply, you must make a list of qualities you want and don’t want from an ideal partner. And benchmark them against the qualities that your crush or ex possesses.
Maybe you are attracted to their body structure or their skills but hate that they are too controlling or too opinionated or they like to flirt with people of the opposite gender.
So from the qualities that you have listed on an ideal partner, do they meet most of them, and how many other people out there have similar traits?
If you do this exercise, you will realize that there is plenty of fish in the sea, the problem is that you just have not caught the right one as yet or you are not fishing at the right place, or you don’t know how to fish right.
That is why my book, “How To Attract Mr Right & Get Married Within A Year” will assist you in catching the right fish.
10. Find a distraction
You will have to find something that will distract you from constantly thinking about someone you love.
You might have to find a new hobby, take up new tasks or even start a blog that makes money.
If you do not find a distraction, the thought of her or him will distract you. But if there is something to keep you busy, the less time you will spend thinking about him or her.
But please avoid getting into rebound relationships because you will hurt people who were hoping for a serious relationship.
11. Spend time with friends and family
If you were in a relationship, you spent most of your with your ex or talking to your ex. So now that you can no longer make plans with them, you will feel a void or feel lonely. But hanging out with friends often, can help you forget a little bit about that special person, and over time, you will find a new routine.
12. Work on self-discovery
It is sometimes easy to get lost when you are in love. You focus more on how to make your lover happy or your efforts on how to win him or her over, instead of focusing on yourself.
So use this time to discover what you really want in life. Do you want to be successful? What qualities should a perfect partner possess? Have you achieved all the things you want in life? If your answer is no, then focus on reaching your other goals. Once you discover yourself you will see that people will flock to you.
13. Remind yourself why you are not together
When you feel like you are missing the person you love so bad and want to reach out to them, please always remind yourself why you cannot be together.
Maybe the reason is that the person is married, and if they were not married, there is no guarantee that they would still choose you.
Or maybe they left you and choose someone else, meaning that you are not a priority in their lives.
Maybe the relationship was toxic, both verbally and physically. Or you realized that they were just using you financially or sexually or just for friendship.
In short, remember that this person does not love you like you love them, because if they did, they would fight to be with you.
14. Release them
How to stop thinking about someone you love deeply? Release them. You will have to forgive, let them go, and refuse to let them hold you back any longer.
For me what worked when I could not succeed in letting go was to ask God to intervene. I told God that I am letting him go, I no longer want him to have a hold over me, and with time God answered my prayer.
15. Give it time
If our brains or heart had a switch, forgetting someone you love would be an easy task. But it really takes time. So you will have to be patient with yourself and also follow the above tips.
Most people did have that special person they loved deeply or regarded as their soulmate, but they have managed to completely move on from him or her. To a point that even if they come across them, or even if they can be friends, they will not wish for a romantic relationship.
16. Be open to new relationships
As mentioned earlier, don’t enter into rebound relationships, but also don’t close yourself out completely from new relationships. You will never know if there is someone better than your ex or crush if you do not open up your heart to new love.
17. Talk to a therapist
If you are really struggling to let go of someone you love and these tips have not worked for you, please seek professional help.
And remember, if they are out of sight long enough, they will be out of your mind soon enough😀.
Read more: How To Ignore Someone You Love
How to stop thinking about someone you have a crush on?
It can be hard to stop thinking about someone you have a crush on, but if you handle it properly, you will soon forget that you even had a crush on them.
1. Accept that your crush is unavailable for you
You will have to accept that your crush is unavailable because they are already in a relationship. Or your crush is unavailable for you because you are not the kind of partner he or she is looking for.
Once you accept that they can NEVER be yours, it is then that you can focus on moving on and effectively stop thinking about someone you have a crush on.
2. Stop stalking your crush
You will have to stop spying on them on social media. This means that you will have to unfollow him or her on social media so that you do not see any of their posts.
3. Don’t contact them
Stop contacting your crush or if your crush is the one reaching out to you, you will have to stop entertaining them. Starving yourself of something that you like is difficult initially, but over time it becomes easier.
4. Avoid your crush
Avoid going to places where there is a chance of coming across your crush. Don’t go to their hangout spot, or go to the gym at the same time.
It might be difficult if you work together, but if there is a chance of working where you won’t be able to see them, take up that opportunity.
5. Write the traits of your ideal partner
Write down what you want and do not want in a partner. And think to yourself that in a world full of people, can’t you still find someone else with the qualities that you want? Obviously starting over with the search is hard, but many people have done it.
6. Be open to new relationships
Be willing to move on and meet up with new people. And the more time you spend with other people, you will slowly forget about your crush.
FAQ
How do I stop thinking about someone I love?
You will have to accept that in life you won’t always get everything you want. Accept that the person you love is unavailable for you and don’t even hold on to the hope that maybe one day you will be together.
Don’t ever reach out to them and don’t stalk them. Also delete their texts, images, and phone numbers and remove anything that reminds you of them.
Allow yourself to grieve the relationship; surround yourself with friends and family and when you feel ready, meet up with new people.
What does it mean when you can’t stop thinking about someone you love?
It is normal to think about someone you were in a relationship with or someone you wish to be in a relationship with. But if you can’t stop thinking about someone you love, it can mean that you have an obsession.
Here are some of the signs you are obsessed with your ex according to an article on Sweety High:
- You can’t stop thinking about them
- You constantly stalk them on social media
- You change plans to run into them
- You can’t stop talking about them
- You compare every person you date to them
Here are signs your crush has become an obsession according to an article in Medium:
- You’re constantly thinking about the person
- You are constantly reading into everything e.g. she played with her hair when she spoke to me
- You won’t take No for an answer
How do you let go of someone you love deeply?
You will have to accept that you can never be together (not in the near future) and once you accept it, you are slowly making space for other things or other people to occupy your heart and thoughts.
You must also break all forms of contact and remove everything that reminds you of them. And stop stalking them or being up to date with their life. And try not to reminisce on the good memories, because they will delay you from moving on to better things.
Also allow yourself to reset, heal and move on; and gradually your feelings for that person will subside.
Can you forget someone you truly love?
As much as you might not completely forget someone you truly love, over time you might even go for weeks or months without thinking about them. And even when you do think of that person, it will not evoke any emotion in you.
And even if you can bump into them, you will be indifferent towards them. But you only reach this stage when you have completely moved on with your life and you are not hoping to be in a relationship with them.
How to remove someone from your heart and mind?
Removing someone from your heart and mind will not happen overnight, but it will happen with time. The first step is to accept that it is over, there are no prospects of a relationship.
Once you have accepted, then you will have to erase everything that reminds you of this person. You will also have to unfollow them on social media and even delete their contact numbers. You will have to crush off the fantasies you had created about being together and living happily ever after.
And then you prioritize yourself, find a distraction and be open to meeting new people. And please, never ever compare people because no two people are ever alike.
