How to get a proposal in 5 steps

You have been with your man long enough; many birthdays, valentines, and anniversaries have passed yet he has still not proposed. All his nice gestures and gifts have lost meaning because he is not giving you what you want.

He is Mr right and you have proved that you can be his wife, yet the relationship status has not changed. People who dated after you are already married, but you still don’t know when your man will marry you.

Or he has already given you an engagement ring and you have been wearing it for a while, yet he has still not committed to a date when he will officially make you his wife. Or you have even moved in with him and have his kids, but he still does not want to commit.

If you want to be his wife, then you need to read these tips, word for word.  

Step 1: Ask him what his intentions are

You must have a crucial conversation with your man if you want a proposal. A man hates commitment so you will need to be very strategic and intentional with him.

When you bring up the marriage topic, ensure that he is not angry, tired, stressed, or hungry because he might use his emotions to divert from the topic. 

This is what you have to ask, “Baby, you know that I love you and want to spend my life with you, but I need to know if we are on the same page. What are your intentions with me, do you have any plans of marrying me in the near future?”

So chances are that he will give you a vague response or even become angry or disengaged.  He may say things like:

“Baby you know I love you, marriage will happen when the time is right.”

“I still need to be financially secure”

“Eish you know I am the breadwinner at home, so I still need to take care of some stuff”

“What is the rush? What we have is beautiful, marriage ruins a good relationship.”

If after asking him his intentions and he still does not give you a straight answer, then move on to the next step.

Read more on how to be wife material

Step 2: Make him understand why you want to get married

Help him understand things from your point of view. Tell him that you are not trying to be pushy, but you need to know when he plans to marry you. Tell him that you understand that he has dreams, but he can still do it with you by his side.  

Say to him that you are not getting any younger, and would hate to waste time while you can be on the market.

You may also want to refer to women who had been in long-term relationships only for their partners to marry someone else.

Step 3: Give him a deadline

Give him an ultimatum, ask him to give you a firm commitment date, and make sure that the time-frame is realistic. If he tells you that he will marry you in 5 years, don’t accept it because 5 years is too long and not guaranteed.

He should tell you that by 30 June 2021 he will send his family to your home for the lobola (dowry) proceedings if you are in the African culture, or tell you the wedding date.

If the commitment date seems to be approaching but there is no sign of marriage then you have to intensify your steps. Ask him if he will still make it and if he says no, assess if his reasons are valid.

Step 4: Hold back your services

If the reasons are not valid then you need to gently start pulling away. If you were doing his laundry, cooking for him, cleaning up after him, giving him intercourse, assisting him with his work, or even giving him money then you have to stop.

You will have to tell him that you can no longer render your services without a firm commitment from him.

Step 5: Give him space

Drastic measures are required if you want to get married. If he still does not commit, then you will have to give him space. You will have to move out if you had been staying with him. And if you were staying apart, you will have to stop visiting him.

If he still does not want to marry you, then it is a clear indication that he had no intentions of marrying you. A man who wants to spend the rest of his life with you will do the right thing. But a man who had no intention of marrying you will let you go.

Don’t go back to him and apologize if he does not come around. If you lose him, let it be. Choose to cut your losses earlier and forget the amount of time that you have invested in the relationship and focus on starting afresh.

Read this tips on how to move on