When we got married, we said our own marriage vows, but as I type this, I cannot remember a single word of what I said. My husband is also guilty of the same, he can’t remember both his and my wedding vows.

So how easy is it to keep a vow that you cannot even remember? In many relationship groups on social media, when a woman asks for advice after her spouse’ss infidelity, some women say don’t blame the side chick, blame your husband because he made his vows to you.

I don’t remember my husband vowing never to hurt or cheat on me, and neither have I attended a wedding where a man has vowed such words. We even joked with my husband that our vows were too vague, we didn’t really over-commit ourselves.

Example of a marriage traditional vow

I _(my name)_ take you, _(Your partner’s name)_, to be my wife (or husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow.

Traditional marriage vows don’t give room for divorce, the only way out of marriage is through death. If people valued their marriage vows, no one would leave their marriage due to being physically or verbally abused. People would stay with their cheating husbands or wives because they value their vows.

A woman would not leave her husband because he is broke and no man would leave his wife because he feels disrespected. Marriage would not end just because someone is sick or they can’t give you sexual satisfaction. Even those who fall out of love, would still stay in those marriages.

Should you write your own vows

You can opt to follow the marriage officer’s standard wedding vows or to write your own vows. I prefer own vows because it is not words being forced onto you which you sometimes don’t believe in. Many people have already pre-conditioned their minds that should certain events take place in the marriage, they will opt for a divorce. If you choose the traditional wedding vows while you believe in divorce, it means that your vows are empty words.

Sample of my marriage vows to my husband

I have decided to watch my wedding video so that I can be able to remember my wedding vows. And this is what I vowed on my wedding day.

“For God so loved me so much, that He gave me you ____as my gift just like He brought Christ into the world. I will love you, I will care for you, I will be that virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 that your heart solely trusts. I will be that friend that you can’t get rid of. I will always be there in good times and bad times.

Although I had forgotten my vows, I was still able to keep them because they are a part of who I am, and it is what I have been doing even when we were still dating.

What is the importance of wedding vows

Traditional wedding vows portray the realistic long-term view of marriage. It prepares you that things won’t always be good, you will face tribulations, sicknesses and your riches might even be taken away, but you will need to hold firm to your marriage commitment. Marriage vows do not mean the absence of wrongdoing by your spouse, but they warn you to make provision for everything that will still go wrong.  

What do you say in wedding vows

Vows should be a reminder to your spouse of what you are bringing to the table. It should provide reassurance to your spouse of the love that you have for him or her. Your vow should proclaim what you have already said or portrayed in private which you want the public to be aware of.

Wedding vows should not be based on a dream or fantasy, or just to give the audience goosebumps. It should be something that you will be able to do even when no one is watching.

Read more: What my disastrous wedding has taught me about marriage

Can you have a wedding without marriage vows

Yes you can. Marriage vows make the wedding beautiful, romantic and emotional, but in most cases they are a bunch of empty words. The vows are meant for the audience and not your spouse.

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