Signs he knows he messed up

Wondering if your man regrets hurting and will one day come back to you? Or if he regrets cheating on you?

I dated a guy and the relationship was always on and off and everytime we broke up, I wished he’d come back to his senses quicker.

Sometimes it would take a couple of days then I would get a sweet text from him and we would continue from where we left off. 

The other time it took 2 months before he reached out to me, but when he contacted me, it was accompanied by a nice message and flowers at my office. 

Then with the last breakup, it took years before he reached out, but his apology was a very long heartfelt email. I think if that email had found me single, I would still have made the same mistake of falling back into his arms. 

I think even if we’d gotten married, our marriage would not have lasted. Our relationship has so many signs of an unhealthy relationship, yet we kept forcing things. 

So these 13 signs he knows he messed up might give you joy that your ex wants you back, but don’t keep going back to a toxic relationship, it is only going to waste both your time and joy.

And some exes only want to keep you around just so that they can sleep with you and not because they love you. 

Table of Contents

• Signs he knows he messed up
  • 13 Signs he knows he messed up
  • How long does it take a guy to realize he messed up
  • How do you tell if he’s really done with you?
  • Will a man realize what he lost?

13 Signs he knows he messed up

1. He contacts you out of the blue

If after the breakup you tried reaching out to him but he seemed cold or even ignored you, but out of the blue he contacts you, that is a clear sign he knows he messed up.

And when he finally contacts you, it does not really matter what he says. What matters is that he reached out to you, even if he does not apologize. 

Even if he can lie and say that he dialed your number by mistake or sent the text in error, know that it was deliberate. 

Maybe he might even say that he was just checking up on you, or he just wanted to wish you a birthday or just wanted to congratulate you for your recent achievement. If he is brave, he might tell you that he wants to meet up with you.

So if he initiates contact, know that there is more to it, else he would not have broken the silence.

2. He checks up on you frequently

If your ex seems to be contacting you more frequently, whether, through text or call, it is one of the clear signs he knows he messed up. 

He might even forward you images, memes and even likes the things that you post on social media. 

This guy will chat with you and ask you how your day was and what you got up to. He might even ask you about the status of the projects that you were doing before the breakup or things he knows you are passionate about, as a way of making you talk to him. 

If it seems like he is making effort to talk to you, it is a sign he knows he hurt you and he is trying to make amends. Because if a man is serious about shutting you out of his life he will maintain the no contact rule. 

3. He reminisces about the past

If your ex reaches out to you and talks about the good old times, the memorable events, the crazy things you used to do together, and the places you have been together, it is a sign he knows he messed up and regrets hurting you.

4. He showers you with gifts

People say when a man buys you flowers, it is either you are celebrating something, or he is guilty of something. 

So if after he has hurt you, he buys you a gift, whether flowers, chocolate, jewellery, or tickets to your favorite show, know it is his way of saying he is sorry and he knows he messed up.

But you want to be careful because he might continue hurting you knowing that when he wants to win you over again, he will just pamper you with gifts.

5. He sincerely apologises

A clear sign he knows he messed up is when he sincerely apologizes. He will say words like “I am sorry.” “Please forgive me”. Some men might even go to the extent of saying “I was stupid.” “It was never my intention to hurt you.” “You were too good to me, I don’t deserve you.”

While some men will try to shift the blame and blame it on you or other factors. He might say that your actions or words led him to do it. Or they can blame it on the influence of alcohol or the influence of their friends. 

Or he might even send a long text or an email, or just call you or meet you in person with the aim of affording you closure, which signals that he knows he messed up and wants to make amends.

Read more: 10 signs he regrets cheating

6. He is still not dating anyone

You know the saying, you do not know what you have until it’s gone? 

If he still has not moved on, meaning that he is still single months after hurting you, it is a sign he knows he messed up. 

He knows he has hurt you and regrets losing you, and has hope that you will work things out. Or he is struggling to find someone with your qualities which makes it difficult for him to commit to a new relationship.

7. He asks your friends about you

When a guy has suddenly become close to your friends, or even after the breakup he still maintains close contact with your friends, it is a sign he knows he messed up. 

This is his way of staying up to date with what is happening in your life and trying to bump into you through your friends. 

8. He pretends the breakup never happened

Some guys act as if they have amnesia and forgot the events that lead to the separation. They act as if everything is normal, you can just continue from where you left off. 

So if your man calls you and does not even bother to start with an apology, maybe he just tries to make you laugh and even asks you why you have been cold towards him, it is a clear sign he knows he messed up.

I had an ex who told me that we never officially broke up, so it means we are still an item. I was really shocked by his words, but it was his way of trying to bring himself back into my life.

9. He makes changes to his life

One of the signs he knows he messed up is when he changes for the better. 

Maybe you used to complain about his bad habits, yet he never changed. Or you advised him to turn his life around, yet your words were always falling on deaf ears. But suddenly, he seems like he is becoming the man you have always wanted him to be. 

This means that he has done a self-introspection, and realized that he has been wrong and does not want to lose more things or more people in his life.

10. He changes for the worst

If after the breakup, he seems to have changed for the worst, he is no longer that responsible and attractive guy he used to be, it means that the breakup has badly affected him. 

Maybe he was not a heavy drinker before, but he now drinks heavily. His life is a mess or he has even aged more in just a couple of months. If he has changed for the worst, it is clear signs he knows he messed up but he is scared to admit it.  

Read more: 17 Signs your ex regrets dumping you and is miserable

11. He is jealous when he sees you with other men

When a man still wants you, he will be jealous when he sees you with other men. If he hears that you are dating someone else, he might send you a message to show that he knows or might even badmouth the person.

I had an ex who would send texts badmouthing the guy I was dating, which is a sign that he was not over me. Because if he was, he would not care about who I date.  

12. He is up to date with your life

When a guy knows that he has messed up but is afraid to admit it, he will turn into a stalker. He will still know everything that you have posted on social media, although you don’t have him as a friend.

If there is a milestone that you are celebrating, he will know about it, even if you do not have mutual friends.

He always seems up to date with everything that is happening in your life.

13. He admits to his friends

A guy’s friends know the real truth. They know when a man is miserable and regrets losing you because you are constantly on his lips.

I once came across a certain guy who was from the same area as an ex. So I asked him if he knows this ex and then when I told him what my name was, he told me deep things my ex said about me and the relationship. Which is a sign our relationship was special and he knows he messed up.

Before you make a move, please read these 6 things to consider before giving your ex another chance.

How long does it take a guy to realize he messed up

It can take a couple of days to weeks or even months before a guy realizes he messed up. Sometimes it can take him a couple of years to admit that his life is not working out as expected and come to the realization that you were the best partner for him.

Or when he sees that you have finally moved on with your life and you seem happy and confident, that is when he finds you attractive again and wants you back.

So the question should be rephrased to say, “what will trigger him to realize he messed up?” because they normally realize after a series of events have occurred.

Hack spirit talks of 7 moments a guy realizes what he has lost which is when a guy can’t find someone of your caliber, gets tired of partying, or does not feel understood.

How do you tell if he’s really done with you?

1. He is already getting married

If your ex is already engaged or married, it is a clear sign he’s really done with you, even if he can still show signs that he likes you.

2. He already has a child with another woman

If after he left you he went on to have a child with another woman, it is a sign he’s really done with you. 

3. He no longer contacts you

If after 6 months he still has not contacted you either through text or call, then it is a sign he’s never coming back.

4. He does not take any of your calls

If he has blocked you or does not respond to any of your texts or calls, then it is a sign that he is over you.

5. He seems cold when you talk to him

When you call him he does not answer your calls with enthusiasm, he seems cold and it is like he cannot wait for you to hang up.

6. He has unfriended you on social media and removed your images

If he has unfriended you on social media and has removed all your images it is a sign he’s really done with you.

7. He wants all his stuff back

He has asked you to return all his belonging and even some of the gifts that he had bought for you.

Although these are signs that he is done with you, people do change along the way and he might want you back after several years. 

Will a man realize what he lost?

Yes, guys do realize what they have lost when you have moved on and you are happy. If you are still begging him to come back, he won’t. 

They also realize what they have lost when their other women are not as loyal and loving as you. But in most instances, they will not apologize and come back because their pride does not allow them.