8 Misconceptions about marriage

1. Marriage will improve your relationship

Romantic movies portray the image that once you get married you live happily ever. However, real life love stories don’t always have a great ending. A perfect marriage where you always have your way does not exist because we are all not perfect.

If you had issues before you got married, marriage will not make those issues to magically disappear. People end up thinking that marriage is hard but that is because pre-existing issues were not resolved before getting married.

2. Having children will improve the relationship

If you think giving your spouse kids will make the relationship more loving then you are in for a big surprise. Kids are cute but they add stress to the relationship. Children are financially, physically, and emotionally taxing.

If you are still experiencing financial challenges or communication challenges, having kids will make it even worse. Or if your partner is not loving or caring, pregnancy will only make things worse because when you are pregnant you gain weight and look different.

Read more: why having kids has ruined my marriage

3. Love is enough

Love alone is not enough to sustain a marriage, a lot of factors really come into play. Once you get married, so many decisions have to be made, it is no longer just about having a great time.

Also, it is no longer just about the two of you, families are also now involved. If the family does not like you, it will really put a strain on the relationship.

When you are married, all the cracks in the relationship become visible, the things that you turned a blind eye on before marriage will be glaring at you during the marriage.

If the financial aspects are not taken care of, you will constantly fight because love alone cannot put food on the table.

Know these about your partner before you get married

4. You can change your partner

Don’t get married with the hope of changing your partner into the person that you want them to be because it will backfire. If there are certain habits or qualities that you don’t like about your partner, marriage will not change them.

You should be willing to tolerate your partner’s habits before you get married because after marriage, those habits might even become worse. If you don’t like that your partner is too controlling, it is either you find someone less controlling or you tolerate them.

If your partner does not respect you before the marriage, even after marriage he or she will still not respect you. You can’t change him from watching sports or meeting with his friends which you do not like.

5. Assuming that things will remain constant

If you married your partner because of their looks or their six pack, after marriage this might change. Your slim partner can stop taking care of their body and gain weight.

Things can change, your spouse can get a job somewhere far which can even complicate the relationship. Or your partner can become very successful and changes from his or her loving and humble ways.

How many couples still tell each other they love each other on a daily basis, hold hands or even feed each other after years of marriage? Those things fall off as time goes on because you are now focused on running the household, ensuring bills are paid, there is food on the table, the kids are fine, etc.

6. You don’t need anyone, your partner will fulfill you

Don’t get married to fill a certain void because a person cannot always make you happy. Your partner can’t complete you because they are human, they also have their own needs and feelings.

Marry someone to compliment you and not necessarily complete you. It is important to have a life of your own outside the marriage.

When married, you still need to spend time with friends and family. You still need to have dreams and goals of your own. You still need to do things that make you happy.

7. Your partner will meet your expectations

A piece of advice that someone once gave is that you should have no expectations because you will always be disappointed. Men expect that women will always be in the mood for sex which is not true. While women expect men to be affectionate, but they don’t always deliver.

8. Marriage is effortless

Marriage is a daily job, it requires commitment. The fact that someone chose or agreed to marry you does not mean that you have to stop putting in effort into the relationship.

Marriage is similar to growing vegetables in a garden, you will constantly have to fertilize the soil, water it, and remove weeds. Marriage is work, you have to make a conscious decision to make it work. Things will not just fall into place without putting in the necessary effort. If you want marriage to work you must give more than you receive.

Read more: 10 reasons why marriage is hard work