Going on a first date is similar to going for an interview. When you go for an interview you want to make a good first impression so that they can appoint you. If you mess up on the first date, you might not get an opportunity to redeem yourself. It is therefore important not to do these things which are turn offs for men.

If you turn a guy off on your first date, he might decide not to call you afterward. Or even if he does pursue a relationship with you, he’ll know that he can never make you his wife.

There will also be instances where you don’t like the guy and would not want to score a second date, but don’t make it too obvious to a point of turning him off through your actions.  

Read more: 10 Mistakes women make when in a relationship

Here are some of the things to avoid doing going on a first date with a guy.

1. Ordering the most expensive items on the menu

One thing that I liked about going on dates is that I could order anything on the menu without even checking the price because I won’t be responsible for the bill. Little did I know that it is a major turn-off for men when a woman experiments with new foods and drinks and fails to consume them. Men interpret such as carelessness, wasteful expenditure and someone who will be high maintenance.

When you are on a first date, it is advisable to order what you are familiar with so that you won’t have to waste food or even throw up because you are trying out something that your body is not used to. It is also advisable to be considerate on the price because you don’t know how wide his pocket is.  

2. Ordering so much food so that you can do takeaways

One thing that I liked about going on a first date is that it meant that I would be getting free food. And it also meant that I do not have to cook when I get home because I would takeaway the leftover food.

I know some people even order so much food intending to make it a takeaway so that they can give it to people they stay with. However, such can be a turn-off for men because it can seem like you are not genuinely interested, you only want to use them for your stomach. And also remember, it is just a date and not a feeding scheme.

It is advisable to order food suitable for one person and when you can’t finish your plate then you can ask for a doggy bag. But don’t order too much food to a point that it is evident that you just want to do a takeaway.

3. Bringing along other people to a date

Bringing a friend along to a date so that your friends can assess him or so that you can feel safe can seem like a good idea, but that is a big turn-off for men. Do not go with anyone, not even your child. If you have a child, find a babysitter. A man wants to spend time with you and not with your friends or family.

Also, don’t come along with people and expect a guy to pay for all of them, it is selfish and inconsiderate. And sometimes he does not have enough money so imagine having to pay for your friends as well. That is why some men end up running away without settling the bill.

4. Talking endlessly about you ex

One thing I have learnt is that you must never talk about an ex with your partner or potential partner. Never say any good things or bad things about your ex, just completely avoid talking about him. Men don’t want you to talk about other men in their presence, it is a great turn off.

Don’t bring your ex up in a conversation unless you are asked about him or the cause of the breakup. And when you do talk about him, don’t say more than two sentences.

Talking too much about your ex creates the impression that you are not over him, or you are bitter and therefore you are not ready for a relationship.

5. Being on your mobile device

I have learned that it is rude to be on your phone during a date, it is a great turn off for men. You can’t be texting, checking your wall or taking long calls when you are on a date. When you are on your phone during a date it creates the impression that you are bored or not interested.

It is advisable not to respond to texts or engage on your social media or press your phone during a date. If you have to take or make an important call, or send an email or make a payment, let him know before you do so.

6. Talking about your psychotic behaviour

There are certain things that you can never say to a man or even make reference to because he will run and never look back. If in the past you have done crazy things, there is no need to disclose it to your date. Don’t tell him about the kind of things that you do to people who make you angry or the things you have done to your ex after he has betrayed your trust. For example, don’t mention that you once tried to damage your boyfriend’s car after you caught him cheating. If you say such things,  you will scare him off and he will never make you his girlfriend.

If you still have insecurities due to your past experiences, it is advisable to seek counselling.

7. Getting too drunk

There are people who drink too much alcohol to a point of embarrassing themselves and the people they are with, which is a major turn-off for men. Some people even throw up after consuming too much alcohol, which portrays an undesirable image. Some start to dance on tables or even pick fights with other people, which is turns off men.

When you are on a date, drink within limits. Do not let a guy see your drunk side on your first date because it can work against you. If you are drunk he can even take advantage of you sexually.

8. Asking for financial favours

Many women want men who can be able to take care of their financial needs and wants, but don’t make it too obvious on the first date. Don’t give a man the impression that you are a gold digger because he will think that you are only after his financial resources. Don’t ask him for money on your first date or ask him to pay your debts or your rent. If he sees that you want to use him, he will also use you.

9. Talks about marriage and your future together

When you are at a certain stage in your life, it can be easy to feel like you no longer have time to play games, you want a relationship that is serious. But that should not come across so strongly during a date because it will make a man feel overwhelmed. He will no longer invest in knowing you because he will feel like you will constantly pressurize him to marry you.

Marriage and baby talks, park them for last because they are turn-offs for men and most men are scared of commitment. Such talks can come at a later stage when you feel like you have won him. Take it slow during a date and enjoy the small non-serious talks.

Read more: How to make him commit to a serious relationship with you

10. Someone who is too boring

When you are on a date it is important to talk and have a nice conversation. Don’t be too boring or too serious. Don’t just answer questions, or give yes and no answers, make it fun to be around you. Also initiate the conversation, ask him questions and put in some effort into answering his questions. Short answers can make him think that you are not interested in him, which is a turn off for men. But don’t try too hard, you should be natural in your conversation.

11. Ms know it all

Another turn-off for guys during a date is when a woman is too domineering. There is nothing wrong with knowing everything and having a strong opinion about everything. But it is important not to do it to the extent of making a guy feel stupid or scared to speak because you always correct him. Don’t make him feel like your views and beliefs are the only ones that are correct. Listen to him and see it as an opportunity to also learn from him.

12. Being too controlling

There will definitely be certain things or habits that you do not like about your date, but try not to point it out too early. If he has a long beard or long hair don’t tell him that he will have to shave it off, or if he is wearing something that you don’t like don’t tell him that he will have to dispose of it. Or if he has an earring don’t tell him that he will have to remove it. And if he chooses a beer over juice, don’t be the judge.

It is important not to seem like you already want to change him on the first date. Men hate to be controlled or the feeling that a woman wants to act like his mom, so if they spot these signs too early it can be a turn-off for a guy.

13. Being too self-centered

When you are on a date, avoid making everything about yourself. If you only talk about yourself and don’t give a man an opportunity to also talk, it can be a turn-off. A date is about two people getting to know each other. At least also show interest in knowing about him and his life.

14. Someone who is arrogant

Some ladies are just way too arrogant and such behaviour is not cute. Even if you can be beautiful, the moment that you are arrogant you appear unattractive. Men are turned off by women with an empty pride. Don’t feel too important, or despise your date or other people including the waitresses, cleaners, security guards, car guards etc.

Be kind to people and you will see that this action goes a long way. Even if during the date you notice that certain things do not meet your standards, don’t put on a show.

15. A woman with no ambition

It is not all men who are only after beauty, most men are after beauty and brains. If they realise that you have no ambition or desire to be something in life, it can be a turn-off for men. They will see you as just a liability or an object and not someone they can build a future with.

Conclusion

It is worth noting that if a man is really interested in you, he will overlook all these turn-offs and still pursue a relationship with you. You can still be on your best behaviour and still fail to score a second date because you are just not what he is looking for.