I have always admired people who are posted by their significant others on Facebook, WhatsApp Instagram, and Twitter. Who wouldn’t want to be shown public affection? It is so romantic to see a post of someone declaring their undying love for their partner and how lucky they are to have found them.

The people I have dated have never shown me off on social media, and my husband hardly posts my pictures. I used to have thoughts like, “isn’t he proud to have me as his partner or is he hiding our relationship?”

With the knowledge that I have now, not being published on social media is not a big deal. I am also not comfortable posting my partner on my social media and not because I have something to hide, or I don’t love him, but I hardly post pictures of myself or anyone for that matter, so posting him would be really out of character for me.

I have outgrown social media affection because social media portrays only perfection and not reality. I also know real love vs social media love, so I will not benchmark my relationship against any social media standards.

Reasons why your partner doesn’t post you on social media

Don’t always conclude the worst if your partner won’t post pictures of you on facebook or put your picture as their profile on Whatsaap. They might have valid reasons:

1. Your partner prefers keeping their private life private

Not everyone is comfortable with their private life being in the public domain. That is why others don’t even post pictures of themselves, their vacations, family members, or even their kids. They don’t see why they should share their lives with people who are not in their close circle. If your partner is not the social media type, then you can’t expect him or her to post your pictures.

2. The admin of deleting images after a break up

Relationships are very uncertain, anything can happen. Not all relationships make it to lifetime commitment and when you break up, you can’t keep those images. How many couples have you seen that have broken up and had to delete months or even years of memories on social media? It is really not worth the effort.  

3.     It puts the relationship under unnecessary pressure

Being in a social media relationship can cause unnecessary strain on the relationship. Your relationship is now in the spotlight. You constantly have to feed content to your followers so that they can see that you are still in love.

When you upload an image on social media, the aim is to get likes and positive comments. And when you don’t get the reaction that you expect it can have psychological effects. You might even do extreme things just so that you can gain people’s validation.

Why would you want your partner to post you on social media

It is important to assess why it is important for your partner to post your images on their social media platforms. Will posting your images strengthen your love or you want it for selfish reasons?

1. To mark your territory

Are you feeling insecure and you think posting your picture on social media platforms will help rebuild trust? One of the reasons why women want their boyfriends to post them is to mark their territory. She wants his contacts to know that he is off the market.

The downside with this approach of marking your territory is that social media is smart these days. Your partner can decide who sees his status updates or posts. So you might think you have marked your territory only to find that your images are only seen by you and not his other contacts.

Read more: 18 Signs that your partner is cheating

2. Feeling left out because everyone is doing it

Social media can place unnecessary pressure because if everyone around you is being posted by their bae, it is easy to feel left out. It makes one doubt if their partner is really serious about them.

3. You always post pictures of them but they don’t post you back

Maybe you are someone who likes posting everything on social media. So when you are always posting your bae but he never posts you it can be easy to have doubts.

4. To display your love to the public

Maybe what you have is very special and you want it shared with the general public. You want people to share in your love journey.

When to worry if your partner does not post you

1. When your partner posts everyone else besides you

If your partner posts everyone else besides you then you can be worried. If they post suspicious characters that they label as family members, or just friends, or colleagues, or church mates but never post an image of you, then you might have a right to be worried.

2. If your partner doesn’t post you but also does not introduce you to his or her circle

If you have been with your partner for some time, but you still have not met anyone who matters to them, then it might be a sign that there is something that they are hiding. You might be the partner that they are cheating with.

3. Your partner does not post you, but flirts with other people on social media

When your partner flirts openly with other people on social media and act as if he or she is single, then you should be worried. It might be a sign that they are not serious about you.

4. If your partner untags himself or herself from your posts

If your partner always untags himself or herself from the images that you post, then it can be a sign that they are hiding something. It can be something that is worth looking into.

Read more: Signs that you are dating a married man

5. Your partner doesn’t take any pictures with you

If your partner does not want to take any pictures with you what are they scared of? Are they scared of their parents or are they scared of their spouse finding out?