Do you suspect that you unintentionally hurt a guy who loved you? Do you wonder if he is fine after the breakup or is his behavior signs you really hurt him and broke his heart?
Women are not the only people who feel the pain of being hurt in a relationship.
You might have hurt your ex because maybe you emasculated him or maybe you cheated and you feel guilty. You might have left him for someone else, or you broke up with him because the relationship was just not working out.
Whatever the reasons are for ending the relationship, it might have left him heartbroken and damaged. The experience might have changed him for the worst.
Or maybe he was just a guy friend who wanted more, but you could not give him what he wanted.
Men are not good at verbalizing their feelings, so don’t expect him to tell you straight up that you have really hurt them and broke his heart.
You just want to be careful when reading these signs because they are similar to the 25 signs he never loved you and 17 signs he’s not into you.
Table of Contents
- Signs you really hurt him
- How do you know if you hurt a guy’s feelings?
- How do you know if a guy is damaged?
- How does a guy act when you hurt his feelings
- Signs you broke his heart
- Final thoughts
Signs you really hurt him
1. He does not want to talk to you
One of the clear signs you really hurt him is when he does not want to talk to you. All your attempts at trying to reach him have failed.
When you call him, he ignores your calls. When you text him he does not respond, he just blueticks your texts or doesn’t even open the message.
And if you call him with an unknown number and he picks up, he hangs up the moment he hears it is you.
If he does this, it means that he really feels hurt and does not want to open the door for you to hurt him again.
2. He does not want to see you
Signs you really hurt him is when he no longer wants to see you. He used to love spending time with you but now when you request to meet up with him, he refuses.
When you go to his place, he does not even open the gate or the door for you.
If you wait for him at the gate and you happen to catch him as he is leaving or entering, he still does not talk to you.
If someone lets you inside his apartment, he will rudely tell you to leave or he will choose to leave to avoid interacting with you.
He even stops going to places where there is a high chance of bumping into you. If you used to go to the same gym, he might stop going to the gym to minimize his chances of bumping into you.
3. He has erased everything that reminds him of you
When a guy really feels hurt, he will remove everything that reminds him of you. He will delete your texts, all your images on his phone, laptop, social media, and even on google photos or whatever storage application.
He has untagged himself from all your posts.
If the relationship status used to say in a relationship, he has already changed it to single.
If you had bought him gifts of sentimental value, he will throw them away or return them back to you.
4. He has unfriended you on social media
If a guy has already unfriended you on social media, it is a clear sign you really hurt him and wants nothing to do with you. He does not want your posts appearing on his timeline and he also does not want you to know what is happening with him.
5. He has blocked your number
Signs a guy is really hurt is when he suddenly blocks your number. You might have noticed that when you send him texts, it has one tick for the longest time. Or when you call him, his line is always engaged or goes onto voicemail, which is a sign that he has blocked you.
6. His posts are depressing
When a man changes his tone and starts to post weird, pessimistic, or depressing posts on social media, it is one of the signs he feels hurt. He is trying to express how he feels through posts or memes.
He might also make negative statements about love or certain types of women and may even offer love advice to his audience. Alternatively, he might choose to share other people’s depressing posts.
7. He’s asked you to return his stuff
When a man feels hurt, he might ask you to return all his belongings. If you were staying at his apartment, he will ask you to move out.
And if he had borrowed you something, or if you had his engagement ring, he might take it back.
If he had given you a car as a gift but that car was under his name, he will ask you to return it.
If a man wants you to return things that were even gifts, it is a sign you really hurt him.
8. He moves out
If you were staying together, he will pack his bags and move out, even if it means moving to a place that is less comfortable.
If a man chooses to leave his comfort just so he can be as far from you as possible, it is a sign you really hurt him.
9. He changes jobs
If you were working at the same place, he might ask for a transfer or he switches companies. This drastic move means he can’t stand the sight of you because you have really hurt him.
10. He tells people what you did
When a man is really hurt, he will share with other people his experience of you.
A certain customer told us that he is no longer with the same girlfriend because she cheated and became pregnant (and we didn’t ask about his relationship status). So this just shows that she really hurt him which is why he is sharing his experience with acquaintances.
If a man opens up to other people, it is a sign you have hurt him and he is trying to find solace in other people.
11. He is not dating anyone
If months after the breakup he is still single, he still has not moved on, it can be a sign that he is hurt. He is finding it difficult to open up his heart to love again because he is scared of being heartbroken again.
12. He has become a womanizer
If he was faithful while you were still dating, but has now become a player, meaning that he is sleeping with multiple women, it is a sign that he is trying to suppress his feelings.
He no longer wants to commit to one woman to avoid going through the risk of being hurt again. He is trying to act tough, but deep down he is broken and no longer trusts women.
It is a sign you really hurt him, and he is now avenging through hurting other innocent women.
13. He’s turned to substance abuse
If after the breakup he drinks heavily, or he is into drugs, it is a sign you really hurt him and he turned to alcohol and drugs for relief.
Read more: 17 Signs your ex regrets dumping you and feels miserable
How do you know if you hurt a guy’s feelings?
1. He will avoid you
When you have hurt a guy’s feelings, he will start to avoid you. He will no longer want to spend time with you.
If you are staying at the same house, he will come back home late, be in a different room or keep himself busy with other tasks.
2. He stops calling or texting
You will notice that you have hurt his feelings because he will no longer initiate calls or texts. Even after reaching out to him, he might still not make the effort to talk to you.
3. He ignores you
Signs you have hurt his feelings is when he ignores you. He might ignore your calls and texts or not respond when you are talking to him.
Even if he does not completely ignore you, he only talks when it is necessary but he keeps his answers brief.
4. His responses are cold
When a guy is hurt, he will change the way he communicates with you. He might be rude in his response or he might be too brief. Which makes it hard to keep the conversation flowing when talking to him.
5. He is no longer affectionate
Signs you have really hurt him is when he stops being affectionate. He will no longer tell you that he loves you, or hold you and kiss you. He won’t even want to be intimate with you.
6. He also hurts your feelings
Some guys when they are hurt will hurt you back. They might say mean things to you or words that will offend you. They might even mention all the wrong things you have done in the past.
Read more: 13 Signs he knows he messed up but is scared to admit
How do you know if a guy is damaged?
1. He talks bad of his ex
If a guy is still bitter over his ex, constantly talking about what she did, it is a sign he is really hurt and has not yet forgiven her nor moved on from her.
2. He is too insecure
When a guy is damaged, he will be too insecure. He will want to monitor all your movements and control you.
The reason he does this is because his ex lied to him and cheated on him in the past and he does not want to be made a fool again.
3. He is abusive
If a man is verbally or physically abusive it can be a sign he is damaged. He might be from a toxic environment, where his parents were always fighting. You want to be on the lookout for these 16 signs of a controlling boyfriend.
4. He is scared to express his love
When a guy is damaged, he will be scared to open himself up to love. He will avoid being emotionally attached because of his past experience.
He does not want you to interpret his love as a sign of weakness, lest you take advantage of him.
5. He is too clingy
As much you may want a loving partner who gives you attention, a partner who is too clingy may be a sign that a guy is damaged. This guy wants to go everywhere with you and does not have a life outside of you.
The reason he is doing this may be that he never received attention from his parents or he lost a loved one, so it is now translating to this.
6. He pushes you away
When a guy has been hurt before, he assumes that even his next partner will also hurt him. So he will constantly push you away because he thinks that it is also a matter of time before you also break his heart.
So what he does is to self-sabotage a budding relationship in order to prevent another heartbreak.
According to Metro, self-sabotage in relationships is when you are consciously or unconsciously ruining your relationship or you make it end.
7. He is too sensitive
When a guy is damaged, he will be too sensitive. You cannot even make a simple joke or a suggestion because he will blow it out of proportion. And this might be because of something that happened in his childhood and certain words remind him of that particular event.
How does a guy act when you hurt his feelings
1. He is irritable
When you have hurt a guy’s feelings, he will easily get annoyed. He can seem fine but when you ask something, he loses his cool and shouts at you.
2. He gives you the silent treatment
When you have hurt a guy’s feelings, he will avoid talking to you. He will not respond when you talk to him, and neither will he answer your calls or texts.
You can check out these tips on how to deal with being ignored by someone you love
3. He avoids you
When you have hurt his feelings he will try by all means to avoid you. He will not be at places where there is a chance of bumping into you. And even if you can be at the same place, he will move away.
4. He becomes less affectionate
When a guy is hurt, he will not show you affection. He will not be romantic and he also won’t be intimate with you like before.
5. He will call you by your name
If he used to call you by a pet name, when he is angry, he will call you by your real name.
Signs you broke his heart
How can you tell if a guy is heartbroken? These are the signs:
1. He does not want to see you
When a guy is heartbroken, he won’t want to see you after the breakup. He will maintain the no-contact rule.
2. He begs you to take him back
Some guys will still beg you to take them back after the breakup; although there are certain guys who will not want anything to do with you after the breakup.
If the guy still wants a relationship with you even after you have left him, it is a sign he is heartbroken.
3. His posts are sad and depressing
If his statuses or posts on social media have become depressing after the breakup, it is a sign you really hurt him and he is heartbroken.
4. He is dating too many women
If after the breakup he is appearing to be a womanizer, it is a sign he is heartbroken and he is trying to mask the pain by detaching emotions from a relationship.
5. He erases every trace of you
When he has deleted all your images and posts on social media, it is a clear sign you broke his heart.
6. He seeks attention
When a guy is heartbroken, he will change so many things just so that he can get attention. He may buy a new car and post it on social media. Or live the lavish life or pretend to live the lavish life just so he can post about it.
When a guy seeks attention, it can be a sign of low self-confidence and it is his way of seeking validation from the masses.
7. He stalks you
He might have deleted every trace of you, but if he still stalks you, checks you out using other people’s social media, or ask other people about you, it means he is heartbroken.
8. He blocks you
Signs you broke his heart is when he blocks your number and even block you on social media.
9. He meets up with your friends
He may still meet up with your friends with the hope that he will see you and try to win you back.
10. He makes too many changes at once
When a guy is heartbroken, he will try to reinvent himself. He may change his image, change his job, or even change his location.
When a man seems to be making too many changes at once, it is a sign you broke his heart.
11. He sends annoying texts or calls you multiple times
If a guy is sending too many texts or calling you too much, it is one of the signs you broke his heart.
12. He sends you pictures of the two of you
If he sends you memories, it is a sign that you broke his heart, but he still wants you.
13. He is still not dating anyone
If a year has passed since the breakup, but he is still not in a relationship, it is a clear sign you broke his heart and he is scared of loving again.
Final thoughts
If you have noticed that you broke his heart, you really want to be careful about how you manage the situation.
If you do not want him back but just want to ease your conscience or keep him as a friend, you might hurt him even further.
Just think to yourself, if roles were reversed and you were the one who was hurting, how would like to be approached?
