Watch out for these red flags in your relationship

Being loved and being in love is such a great feeling, but if you share your love with the wrong person, your life will be miserable. Don’t be a victim, quickly spot if the relationship will work or not. Watch out for these red flags in your relationship:

1. A very controlling partner

A controlling partner can be very loving, but they want to treat you like a child. They want to choose a path for you and control your life. Some of the things they want to control are:

• what you can and cannot wear
• whom you can or can’t hang out with
• which hobbies you can and can’t do
• if you can do makeup or not
• if you can take a job or not
• they control your social media activity
• they don’t want you to talk to the opposite gender

Listen to how your partner talks, what their expectations are from a woman. If they make statements that define a woman’s role, you should be worried.

The problem with being with someone who is too controlling is that you can lose your identity, and depression can easily creep in. You cannot live life to your full potential because if you defy their instructions, they interpret it as disrespect. Also, a controlling partner eventually becomes abusive.

2. Have anger issues

Gender-based violence is real, you don’t want to fall victim, while you could have spotted the signs earlier on. It is important to watch your partner’s behavior very closely, and not make excuses for them if they overreact.

Watch out for a partner who loses their temper easily, or always want to beat up people who have crossed him. If they can beat up their employer, parents, or a stranger, what will happen to you if you cross them? Choose to be with someone who can control their emotions because one of these days you will also offend them.

3. Wants to accompany you everywhere

It is nice to have a partner who cares about your wellbeing and safety but overdoing it can be a problem. If your partner wants to act as your bodyguard, always wants to accompany you everywhere, then you should be worried because it means that they are very insecure.

In life, you need alone time, time with your partner, time with friends, and time with family. You still need to be able to go shopping without someone tailing you and meet up with people without your partner being present.

Some partners even call and ask you to give the person you are with the phone or video call to check out your surrounding, which is not cool, unless if you have broken their trust before.

4. The relationship is too perfect

Everyone wants to be in a relationship where they are prioritized, feel needed, and treated like royalty.  When you are receiving the kind of attention you never received in the past it can be easy to overlook the signs that something might be off.

Beware of a partner who is too good, says and does all the things every time. If the relationship is way too perfect that it even seems too good to be true, then there might be a rat.

Also, be careful of perfect online relationships because they might just be using you for financial gain. Why would a relationship be perfect online while the past physical relationships were never like that? Rather take your time, meet them on several occasions, and assess if they are who they claim to be.

5. The relationship moves too fast

If the relationship moves at a very fast pace, it can be a sign of another red flag. If you meet a man, and a few weeks into dating he wants to move in with into your apartment, be worried.

Some men even disclose their bank card pins and salaries earlier on, just so that they can gain your trust. After he has won your trust you will open up to him about everything including your banking details and he later steals from you or abuses your resources.

Such a person will even lie to you that he is pursuing business opportunities and needs capital investment. And because you trust him, you will give him money only to later find that he has another girlfriend that he is more serious about and he was just using you for financial gain.

6. They crush your self-esteem

A good partner boosts your self-esteem while a bad partner diminishes it. Watch out for these signs of verbal abuse in the relationship:

• They make you feel useless
• Tell you that you are stupid
• Tell you that you are not good enough
• There is no other person who can love you beside them
• They always find fault with everything that you do
• Your partner compares you to other people
• They claim that have made you and you are nothing without them
• They always discourage you

7. Your friends and family don’t like your partner

If your friends or family do not like your partner, don’t be quick to brush them off, try and understand why they do not like him or her, because when you are in love, your judgment is clouded. Who knows, maybe they have seen your partner cheating, or he has made moves on them or they have seen the red flags in him or her.

8. They separate you from your family and friends

Be careful of a partner who convinces you that your friends and family have a negative influence on the relationship. You soon start to break all contact with your friends and family, because he or she does not like them.  

Such a person does not want you to interact with people who might talk sense into you. A good partner should at least encourage you to have a relationship with your family.

9. They can’t keep a job

If your partner is always being fired from his job or resigns without a plan, then it is a sign of someone irresponsible. Such a person will be a burden in the relationship because you will always have to come to their rescue.

10. They are irresponsible

Be cautious of someone who can’t exercise self-control, or someone who is too materialistic yet they do not have the resources to maintain their lifestyle.

Another trait to be careful of is someone who is too addicted to alcohol, drugs, or gambling, or they take out unnecessary debt and they don’t repay it. Such a person will become your liability and you will never be happy in the relationship.

Also, be careful of someone who just wants to lazy around, they are too picky with the kind of job that they want yet they expect you to provide for them. If you refuse to give in to their demands, there is no longer peace in the relationship.

11. The hide your relationship

If your partner does not want your relationship to be public, you always have to meet indoors, they don’t want to introduce you to their circle, or they don’t even accept you as a friend in their social media profiles, then it might be a sign that they have something to hide. They might only want to be with you just for a booty call or financial gain, but not as a life partner.

12. They talk bad about their exes

Beware of a partner who always talks bad about their ex, and make it seem as if the ex was the one who was wrong in the relationship then it is a problem. They make their ex seem like a great monster, while their ex is not there to defend themselves. What will happen if you also break up, it means that they will also talk about you in the same way.

13. They can’t answer phone calls in front of you

If they don’t take certain calls when they are with you, or they go into a different room to answer their phone, then it is a sign that they are cheating or hiding something.

14. They disappear without a reason

If your partner avoids your calls for more than a day, or they don’t come back home and there is no valid explanation, then you should be worried. You cannot rely on a partner with such traits.

15. They are too obsessed with you

Being with someone who loves you and makes you feel needed is great, but once the love becomes an obsession, then you should tread carefully.

If the partner makes statements like I can’t live without you, or I’ll kill myself if you leave me or no one breaks up with me then you should watch out. It becomes difficult to end a relationship with an obsessed partner because they might try to commit suicide when you break up with them, or they might kill you or even stalk you once you have separated.