Posting pictures of babies on social medial seems cute because kids’ images receive thousands of likes. But be warned, these bundles of joy have caused problems for many couples. Children are a blessing from God but these blessings have a way of altering your life and shifting your focus. Before having a child, your partner is your priority, but after having a baby, your child becomes the most important person in your life.

Couples who do not have kids have relationship problems because they don’t have kids. They think that if they had children they would fight less or their partners would love them more. But those with kids have relationship problems because they have kids.

1. Children complicate your sex life

Your sex life is impacted once there are kids in the picture for the following reasons:

· You can no longer have sex on demand

Once you have kids, it becomes difficult to be spontaneous around the house. You can’t just do it anytime, anywhere, anyhow because you have to wait for the kids to fall asleep.

· The mother is always tired

A newborn or a baby below a year requires constant attention. Babies need to be fed every three to four hours and they don’t sleep throughout the night like adults. If she is tired, she will not be able to perform in bed. Also, for a woman sex is emotional, if she is not in the right state of mind, she will not be sexually aroused.

· Six weeks waiting period

A woman becomes sexually unavailable after giving birth. Her body needs time to heal so doctors recommend resuming sexual activities only after 6 weeks. After week 2, my partner wanted us to resume bedroom activities and after week four I ended up giving in to his demands. Some women have complications and can only resume months later.

· It becomes difficult to sleep without being dressed

When you are still breastfeeding, you constantly have to wear a bra because the breasts can leak at any time. And your body might still be recovering so it is possible that it can be expelling some discharges.

2. You can’t do activities together

Before having kids maybe you went on date nights together, partied together, jogged together but after having a baby these changes. You always have to ensure that there is a baby sitter if you have to both go out. A woman might be forced to stay in the house while life continues as normal for the guy.

3. Affection shifts towards the child

A child becomes a man and a woman’s priority. If you used to give each other plenty of hugs and kisses after birth it will be the child receiving those hugs and kisses. It will also be the child being told I love you and I missed you.

4. The man feels neglected after the baby

A child becomes a mom’s priority and it is easy for a man to feel neglected and no longer respected. After having kids, a woman takes care of the child’s needs before her man’s needs. If she used to cook delicious meals for him, after a baby she might prepare quick meals or buy takeouts. It becomes difficult to treat him like a king when there is a baby which makes the man feel unhappy and neglected in the marriage.

Read more: How to make your man happy

5. A woman feels that she is not receiving love from her man

When a woman has a child, she expects her partner to act as a father to the child and also still show her love. A man should be involved in raising the child, changing nappies, taking the baby to the clinic and also feeding the child.

She feels like her man is being unreasonable if he continues with life as normal like chilling with friends over the weekend while she stays in and takes care of the kids. She also feels like the man is selfish if he makes demands while he is not helping her out. This is the reason a man feels like his wife hates him or resents him after having children.

Read more: How to make a woman happy

6. Kids elevate the stress levels

Kids often elevate the stress levels and you find that you shout at each other often. If the child does not sleep and you are too stressed it affects communication in the relationship. If the child is sick or the child gets injured you easily blame each other. And because you have different parenting styles, it does not make it any easier.

7. Financial problems escalate

With children in the picture the financial burden increases. You now have an added cost such as nappies, formula, kids’ clothing, nanny, school fees, etc. If you had financial challenges before having children, after having children it becomes even worse.  

Read more: How to deal with money problems in a relationship

8. All conversations are about the kids

After having kids, most of the conversations become about the children, romantic conversations disappear. The conversations become about the child’s wellbeing, achievements, and what has to be bought for the child. You no longer get the chance to complement each other, have deep conversations and interesting conversations.

9. Change in a woman’s image

Child birth makes women to gain weight. Some women are able to go back to their pre-pregnancy weight while some women can’t. For some, pregnancy also alters their skin and they never recover. So these can affect a woman’s self-esteem. Some men no longer find their women attractive after birth, which brings unhappiness in the relationship.

Final thoughts

A child does not strengthen the relationship and it only makes people stay in toxic relationships longer than they should.

Couples should understand that having a child will definitely change the relationship. But they will have to find a new way of doing things so that the relationship is still interesting even after having children.