I really hate the heightened pressure around Valentine’s Day. It is one of those days that remind you that you are indeed single or if you are in a relationship, it makes you question the love your partner has for you.
I remember the years when I was single around Valentine’s day, I felt incomplete as if there was something wrong with being single. I felt like the day was too long, because I had to watch people receive gifts, walk in pairs, people carrying flowers at work and in public areas. It is the one day where I felt like someone could just miraculously come to my rescue.
However then when I was in a relationship, I was still not entirely happy on Valentine’s day. I felt like my expectations were not being met. When you have a partner who is not romantic or keen on celebrating Valentine’s Day, it is even worse than being single.
Valentine’s Day puts the relationship under unnecessary pressure because there is an expectation that you will celebrate Valentine’s Day. It is painful to watch those around you receive gifts while your own does even make an effort to put a smile on your face during Valentine’s Day. You don’t even look forward to the next day because people will ask you how your Valentine’s evening was.
How to avoid disappointment on valentine’s day
1. Communicate your expectations
Don’t assume that your partner knows that you expect to be pampered on Valentine’s day. It is important to communicate your expectations at least 2 months before the day so that he can be mentally and financially prepared.
It is not by chance that some people receive gifts on Valentine’s or seem to have men who are romantic; they receive because they have asked. Some women do tell their partners that they want roses to be sent to their offices on Valentine’s day, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Some partners don’t celebrate because they are broke but if they know that Valentine’s day has to be prioritised, they will make a plan.
2. Ask what the plans are for Valentine’s day
Weeks before Valentine’s day it is wise to ask what you will be doing as a couple on Valentine’s day. This can help you avoid disappointment in case your partner had nothing planned even after communicating your expectations. Your partner’s response will guide you in suggesting activities that you can do as a couple.
3. Tell your partner that you already have their Valentine’s day gift
Even if you don’t have a gift, if he thinks that you have already spent on him, he will feel guilty if he was not planning to buy you anything. And that can force your partner to get you something for Valentine’s.
4. Know your partner’s pocket
It is important to know the depth of your partner’s pocket so that you can lower your expectations. Even if your neighbour can receive 48 roses and you receive only 12 you will still be grateful that he did what he can afford.
Why couples celebrate Valentine’s Day
1. To remind your partner that you love them
Life gets too busy sometimes, and there are not so many days where you do things out of the ordinary. So Valentine’s is one of those days that you can set apart to love each other entirely. Sometimes actions speak louder than words.
2. To make your partner feel loved
Knowing that you are loved is one of the greatest feelings in the world. If you can make your partner feel loved, they will strive to make you happy.
3. To score points
If the relationship is still new and you put effort into celebrating Valentine’s day, you are setting the tone for the relationship and the woman will be fully yours.
Read more: How to make a woman happy
4. To manage perception
Sometimes you have to do things that you don’t believe in for the sake of managing perception. You don’t want her friends to think that she is not loved or that you have another girlfriend just because you are not celebrating Valentine’s Day with her or spending on her.
5. For Peace sake
If the relationship has been shaky and you want to bring about peace then it is important to celebrate the day. If you care about the relationship and want to avoid unnecessary conflict, then Valentine’s day is worth celebrating.
The effects of not celebrating Valentine’s day
1. A grumpy partner
If your woman expected something on the day yet you do not do anything, she will be very grumpy. It will even be difficult to get bedroom satisfaction.
2. She might doubt your love
If you don’t show her that you love her on other days including Valentine’s Day, she might begin to doubt the love that you have for her. She might start to seek attention elsewhere because she is not receiving it from you.
Valentine’s Day ideas for a tight budget
To make someone feel loved, valued and special does not have to cost much money. Whether you believe in celebrating the day or not, you can just go with the flow.
- Prepare dinner indoors with set up the mood. Have some nice music, candles and even wine.
- Buy chocolates
- Attend an event together
- Buy jewellery
- Eat out
- Prepare a basket with goodies
- Order something and personalize it like a mug, journal etc
- Send her sweet messages and take her down memory lane
- Go on an outing
- Buy a spa voucher
