Don’t get married unless your answer is yes to all these questions

Love is a beautiful gift that every person deserves to feel at least once in their lifetime. And when your partner wants to take the relationship to next level by making you his wife, it can feel like a dream come true.

The decision to get married is one of the most important decisions that a person will ever have to make, yet most people take it lightly. People only use their hearts and not their heads when entering into marriage.

You should thoroughly prepare for marriage because love alone cannot sustain the marriage, there are many other factors which have to be taken into consideration.

8 Questions to answer before getting married

1. Do you have a life plan?

Before getting married make sure that you have a life plan. Don’t treat marriage as your final destination, you should still have life goals that you are pursuing when entering into marriage.

Marriage cannot be guaranteed because it can end either through divorce or death. Will you be able to stand on your own feet if the worst can happen? Some people are forced to stay in toxic marriages because they are not pursuing their own life plans, they are solely depending on their spouses for everything. If your partner passes on, will you be able to run the household?

2. Have you done financial and credit checks?

Financial issues are amongst the top reasons why couples divorce. As much as marriage is about love, to breathe it costs money. Love alone cannot put food on the table and neither can it provide shelter.

The reality is that many people are not financially savvy, and by the time they meet, they are already financing their day lifestyle through debt. Some even take out loans to pay lobola (bridal price) or use debt to buy the engagement ring.

So before you rejoice and start planning that extravagant wedding, it is important to establish how the engagement was financed, how the wedding will be financed, and how your lives will be financed when you are married.

When you decide to commit, make sure that you at least have an idea of the following:

• What your partner does for a living. If they are an entrepreneur, what type of businesses are they running? It is important to know as some people might be making their living through criminal activities.
• What is their net income?
• Do they remain with anything after paying off all their expenses?
• Which loans do they have and what are the terms? How much is the installment, the duration of the loan, and how much is the interest rate. Also find out if they paying for a car, student loan, credit cards, bank overdrafts, and even retail accounts.
• Do they own the apartment or house or are they paying rent? If so how much?
• Are you subjected to any black tax, if so how much?
• How many kids do they have and how much is the maintenance on those kids?
• Do they have to pay alimony from their previous marriage?

This will help you understand your partner’s financial commitments so that you can assist each other. This will also help you choose the right marriage contract because the last thing you want is to have your name blacklisted or your assets repossessed.

3. Will you be able to tolerate your partner’s bad habits?

Don’t get married with the hope that you will be able to change your partner’s bad habits. Seasons change but people only change when they have committed to change. Don’t take your partner’s word if they say that they will change for you, because they will definitely lapse along the way.  If there are habits you do not like, choose to tolerate them or rather move on.

4. Do you know your partner’s health status?

It is important to do a health check and test for sexually transmitted diseases before being intimate and also disclose any medical conditions. The purpose of knowing in advance is so that you can support each other, protect yourselves, and ensure that you lead a healthy lifestyle so that you can live longer.

5. Have you done a background check?

There is a reason why companies want references from your past employers. Imagine if you knew your partner’s exes and you were allowed to directly contact them. You would at least know the real reasons for the breakup. You would know if you are committing to a psychopath, or an abuser, or serial cheater, or even a gold digger.

Do your private investigative work to find out what type of person he or she is. Ask the people who know them, the community members, check their social media profile, find out if they haven’t already committed to someone because you might just be a fling.

6. Have you done a criminal check?

Ensure that your partner’s history so you can ensure that you are not committing to a fraudster, rapist, or even murderer. Knowing beforehand will assist you to make an informed decision.

7. Have you checked if they are not currently married?

Did you check if there are no legal impediments against the marriage as some might claim to want to marry you while they are already married? Also, speak to the family members and friends to find out if your partner is not already married.

8. Have you met their family?

Have you met the family that you are marrying into and do you like what you see? As much as marriage is between two people, family plays an important role.

Will you be able to tolerate their beliefs, are you happy with their genes? This might sound extreme but in some families, all of them die young, or if you get married you become mentally ill etc, so know exactly what you are getting yourself into so that you can take the necessary precautions.

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