It can be easy to score points with a woman, but it can also be very easy to lose those points. As a female writer, it is my honor to share with men the biggest turn-offs list for girls and women from my own experience. Men easily turn us off on first dates, during the relationship, and also in marriage. Though these men turn us off, sometimes we let it slide because we like or love them. But some women can’t let it slide so you need to be aware so that you don’t lose the woman you like.  

According to the urban dictionary, a turn off is something that disgusts you or you find unappealing about the opposite sex. Here are some of the things which turn us off in the men who approach us, go on dates with or the men whom we are in a relationship with.

1. A man who is still traditional

A traditional man who has very strong ideas about gender-based roles is one of the biggest turn offs for girls and women. We believe that a relationship is a partnership and not a means to oppress women. Women want to exercise their right to choose who they want to be and not be defined by how domesticated they are or what they wear. They also want a man who will be involved in raising kids and helping around the house since both genders now go to work.

2. Flirting with other women while with her

It is a great turn off for women when a man flirts with other women. Do not flirt with the waitress, the cashier or any other woman for that matter when you in our presence. When you flirt with other women we feel disrespected, like you are embarrassing us. And if you are capable of flirting with other women in our presence then what more when we are not around?

Also, don’t turn your head to look at another woman when you are with a woman. Such a behaviour makes a man look like a pervert.

3. A man who is a people pleaser

Being with a man who wants to please the entire world is also one of the biggest turn offs for girls and women. Some men do not know how to say NO to anyone; be it friends, colleagues, female friends, family, exes etc. They want to be in everyone’s good books at the expense of their woman. They are too much of a good Samaritan because they are giving and supportive to everyone but makes their woman feel neglected. Other people’s plans always override the plans that he had set with his woman.

4. A man who is a charity case with no ambition

A man without a plan, hustle or ambition, no matter how handsome he can be, is a serious turn off for women. As women, we expect a man to be working towards something, and not just waiting on fate. I can forgive a poor man who is trying by all means to win. But as for a man who always feels like a victim and always blames other people for his misfortunes, that is a complete turn-off.

There is a Zulu proverb that says “Ubuhle Bendoda Zinkomo Zayo” which means that a man’s beauty is judged by the number of cows he owns. Yes times are hard and with women empowerment, it might have become difficult for some men to get promotions or to be employed. However, that is not an excuse for a man not to make means.

5. A man who still stays with his parents

We are turned off by a man who still stays at his parents’ house. At a certain age, we do not expect a man to be living with his parents, whether he stays in a backroom or cottage. It is very awkward to visit a man who stays with his parents because you cannot be completely free, you always feel like you are being watched or judged.

Although we understand that you cannot afford your own place or you might be trying to save money, but rather share an apartment with a friend than stay at your parents’ house. Women don’t mind if you are renting the place that you staying at, as long as you not at your parents’ place.

6. Use of bad pick up lines

The use of bad pick up lines or any pick up line for that matter is also one of the biggest turn offs for girls and women. You can still be able to win our attention without the use of pick up lines. Some pick up lines don’t feel real or authentic. Sure we might smile, but we might be smiling at your stupidity. Also avoid using words like “hey beautiful” or “hey pretty”

7. A man who appears to be rich but super broke

There are certain guys who seem picture perfect but once you get close to them, you realise that they are fake. They have the latest gadgets, expensive appliances, wears the most expensive clothes and perfume yet they have nothing. Some of these men don’t even have a car or a place of their own. They can’t even afford to buy proper groceries or take you out on a date because they have no money in the bank. This is a huge turn-off for women. It is better for a man to have an uninviting appearance while his affairs are in order than for him to be attractive but penniless.

8. A man who likes to act cheap

It is a turn off for women when a man wants to act stingy. Don’t be too cheap to an extent that you don’t want to spend money on your woman. Don’t be that guy who is always calculating costs or asking for a receipt when she uses your money. Also, don’t always complain that you don’t have money.

9. Someone who likes other women’s pictures on social media

When a man seems to make flirtatious comments and emojis on other women’s posts on social media, it can be a major turn off for women. Flirting on social media is still equivalent to flirting.

There are also things which women do, which are great turn offs for guys. Read: 15 things women do which are turn offs for men.

10. A man who is always with friends

It a biggest turn off for girls and women when they feel like they can never have you to themselves. Can you please spend more time with us than with your friends? We also want to have your undivided attention during weekends. We don’t always want to be hosting your friends or meet with you in the company of your friends. Can we have some alone time?

We hate it when you come with your friend to visit us or when we find your friend when we come to visit you. If I am visiting you, can you please tell your friends to go, I would have brought my friends too if I wanted us to have a chill session.

11. A man who borrows money or assets

These questions ring in my head when a man borrows money from me, “Who used to borrow you money before I came into your life?” “Does it mean that I have to be your bank just because I like you?”. “If I decide not to borrow you, will we still be on good terms?”

If my car is better than yours am I forced to lend it to you? Such expectations are great turn offs for women but in order to maintain peace in the relationship we might still lend to you.

12. Someone who loves to brag

I am turned off by men who love to brag. There is really no need to tell me how much each item that you have costs, or how much money you make. And just because you make so much money, you want us to worship the ground you walk on or praise you like a god? As a woman I just want a relationship with you, the assets are a bonus.

13. A man who is selfish

A man who is only after his own pleasure in a relationship is a biggest turn off for girls and women. Women are turned off by a man who only wants to satisfy his sexual needs and disregard how she wants to be shown affection.  

14. Someone who lies

Speaking lies or making empty promises is also one of the biggest turns off for girls and women. If you promise her that you will meet up with her or you will do something for her just do it, because if you consistently fail to keep your word, she will lose her trust in you.  

15. A man who is unfaithful

Another biggest turn offs for girls is a man who cheats. If you come to me and tell me that you already have a woman in your life it is an immediate turn off for me. Or if I notice that you are being unfaithful to me, it is also a major turn off.

16. A man who is constantly on the phone

Women thrive on attention, and undivided attention for that matter. If we notice that we are competing for attention with your phone, we will be turned off. When you are on a date, it is advisable to minimize your screen time and only attend to your phone when it is a matter of life and death.

17. A man who wants to speak to your crew

I came across a certain guy who would call me, ask me who I’m with and then asks me to give them the phone so he can talk to them. This was a turn-off for me and thus we never even reached the dating phase.

A man who constantly contacts you to find out where you are and even wants to do a video call or wants you to send a live location to confirm your location is a serious turn off for women. Learn to relax guys, we not doing anything that you haven’t done.

18. A man who body shames others

It is never cool when a man body shames anyone, be it male or female. Just because you are skinny, it does not give you the right to body shame men or women who are fat. Or just because you have a preference towards certain body types it does not mean that those who don’t meet your standards are ugly.

As you now know what turns off women, it is important to read up on how to make her happy so that she does not leave you.